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female
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anonymous
writes: I have a few questions! they are not problems as such, but would love some input from you guys. I am 22 yrs old, and have a great job and good friends. My partner is this gorgoeus man who I love with all my heart. The trouble is that he has asked me to move in with him. Now this shouldnt really be an issue, but Its his house, and I want something that I own or co-own! Therefore I have told him I will not move in with him. he co-owns the house with a friend of his who refuses to sell their share to me or my partner. Am I being selfish? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (3 March 2006):
 I agree with Martini and will just add that personally I would move in, if in the longer term you really get full on commitment and want to start a family, get married or something then you can do the joint mortgage thing then.
I have lived with someone in there house and the other way around and found it to be ok.
One beauty of not co-owning is that if things go wrong you can just move out, it gets much more difficult if you both pay the mortgage and one does not want to sell.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2006): Yes and no. It's understandable to co-own, but I have a friend in a similar situation - fiance want to co-own. Mind you, she will by law kind of own the property eventually anyway. Objectively, some men want to feel like they have their own things - own car, own tv, own property. It's a mind frame. Also there are other obligations unsaid that they dont want happened in the future. What if you break up with him? What happens to the property? And so on and so forth.
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