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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I'm 26 and I met my boyfriend of 6 months while he was on work in my country. He's 34, and is moving to another country for his next assignment. We have decided that I will go with him once his job is confirmed.Now he wants me to go back to Spain (his country) until his job is confirmed. How do I deal with this.. on the one hand he says that since I have decided to leave anyway, I might as well leave now. I feel that nothing in my life (my job, my friends, my family) is important anymore. It disturbs me that he makes things that mean so much to me so simple. I feel like I have to give in to make the relationship work.What do I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2007): You've dated him for six months. Not very long. He's demanding you go back to Spain with him - a country you do not know, and perhaps don't speak Spanish.
He is clearly not showing any consideration for your point of view about not wanting to leave your home, family and friends and your job.
Do not agree to move with him. If necessary, end it. Just think if he's behaving this inconsiderately now, what will it be like in another six months?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2007): Stand your ground! It is your life too. Let him know that you are not going to be pushed around. You have a job, family and friends which he seems to push into the background to get his own way. He sounds a bit controlling. Say you will move when you are good and ready. Don't be dictated to. If you have a preference or wish then let him know but don't keep giving in just to keep him happy. The only one benefitting from this will always be him because he always gets his own way. Stay strong. Why should you go to his country, can you not stay in your own until the appropriate time? Or can you stay with family or friends in your country?
Take care
xx
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