A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been going out for 2 years. He left for basic training for 10 weeks. But before that, he's been telling me how he's been curious. (He's very honest) He says that he feels bad for wanting to know what it's like to be with other girls and I don't blame him for that because I have it too.The thing that kills me is when he said he wanted a break in the future, not right after he comes back, but just so "we" can explore, us being in college and all. He says that since it's my first relationship (mine) it's hard to know what we want. By the way, this is my first relationship and it's perfect. We complain but never in super huge fights. I feel content and so satisfied with my relationship and he says so too. He says that he can't imagine being without me but yet he is curious.I'm just wondering how people would react to this break. For me, I was so disappointed. I feel that I'm not good enough and wonder what more does he want from me? But at the same time, I'd rather him know than be curious. But what if he finds something that he likes more? How would you react?
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male
reader, rivi +, writes (14 June 2010):
I think it-s a good thing he is being honest and he should get on with trying sex and relationships / whatever with others.....
And so should you if that-s what you want.
There are so many posts on here from people in their 30s and 40s who married their first or second college bf or gf and are now bored out of their minds and desperate to try sex / affairs with someone new - only now they have kids and houses and jobs and it-s all too difficult.
So my view would be yes let him - and you - do the experimenting now when it doesn-t have all the adverse consequences it will have in 10 or 20 yrs. It-s biology basically.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 June 2010):
 I am old schooled I don't believe in exploring. It might work for some people and help them know what they want, but for many people, it's an excuse to avoid committment. When you are with the right girl, the feeling is like, "You're my every woman in the world to me. You're my fantasy, you're my reality." - Air Supply
You don't have to agree to this arrangement. I have experience with all kinds of men. My wants and needs had never changed. I want a companion, a sexual lover, and a father figure to my child. It doesn't take a 35 year old to want that. If you are happy with yourself and with life, this is want you would want. No one can say I want a casual relationship and say that with as much ardour.
Anyways you can still be positive with either outcome. If he comes back to you, great! If he doesn't, you are free to find another great guy. Just make sure you are not back with each other just because you don't want to be alone.
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