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female
,
anonymous
writes: We've got over a massive age difference (I'm 18, he's 33) and have been going out for 6 months. Soon, however, he is moving to another country and believes this should be an open relationship. I don't think I can deal with that.We love each other and it's pretty serious, but I don't feel like I can trust him. He thinks the open relationship would be good for me too. I'm afraid he'd meet someone else, even though the open relationship is just for sex. He said even if he did meet someone else, he would still want me as he would miss me. I want to tell him to get some WILL POWER! I am torn. I want to say "it's all or nothing". I just don't know how he'll react. I love him an incredible amount. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, justice +, writes (8 August 2006):
look let him go if he moves to another country and if you come to vist him or he comes to vist you he could probably have aids another country means another style of sex so tell him good writtens and goodbye!
---------- smooches
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (5 August 2006):
 This guy is using the age-gap in an inappropriate way. YOu say that you are in love etc, but in my view when you are truely in love then you just wouldn't want to go elsewhere for sex. My husband and I were separated for over a year due to problems with getting him a visa for the UK (sorted now!) but he didn't even think about straying elsewhere and neither did I (he is a decade younger than me). Your man should respect you enough to maintain that level of commitment and if he is going to cheat then you cannot change his behaviour but you can leave him. Maybe he is feeling insecure about the move and testing the water - he maybe just wishing to know your reaction to his proposal of an 'open' relationship. Maybe he wants you to stand up for what you want to show him how committed you are to the relationship. Either way, no one has the right to make you feel unhappy and you should tell him how you feel - if he doesn't respect your wishes then split up and move on. You may love him but respect is a component of a solid relationship and you are entitled to that!
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