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He wants a naked picture, I am so nervous I feel I am going to puke!

Tagged as: Teenage, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 February 2010) 16 Answers - (Newest, 22 February 2011)
A female United States age 26-29, *_a_w_r1645 writes:

Okay,

So this guy i have known for a couple of years, me and him have started talking... just today. and he said i had a nice body and wants a pic of me naked. i told him he probably wouldnt get it but he says that it would make him happy. should i just tell him straight out no becuz i dont want to. i just need to no how to becuz i dont wanna make him feel bad. also he wants to hang out this week but im so nervous! i need to ask my mom and itll be me and him alone. he wont try anything wrong but im so nervous texting him right now. i feel like im gonna puke. is it normal for me to feel like this since ive never dated anyone and havent hung out with someone older than me

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011):

What i think you should do is tell him you dont feel comfortable sending him a nude pic. If he keeps pestering you, just ignore him. I mean, this guy could be a pedephile, or he could blackmail you, and chances are as soon as you sent him the pics, half your school would have them! Dont do it hon only bad can come from it! I agree with the other posts, this guy is a perv!

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A female reader, r_a_w_r1645 United States +, writes (22 February 2010):

r_a_w_r1645 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

r_a_w_r1645 agony auntthank you everyone who commented. especially the last person whos ananomous cuz thats the answer i was looking for. i dont wanna just leave him cuz i honestly love him. u would understand if u were in my position. i told him i wouldnt and he said okay. but he just says it as a joke now. thanks again. :]

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010):

if you dont want to, then dont. i have friends who've done it in the past, and it never ends well. how can you be sure that noone else is going to see it? even if a friend is just flicking through pictures on his phone.

seriously, dont. dont dont dont. it's not particularly wrong for him to ask, hes just a normal teenage boy, but still. dont.

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A female reader, Angzw Zimbabwe +, writes (21 February 2010):

Sorry' darling but if you send this guy your naked pic then he is guilty of possessing child pornography and can go to jail. Yes, seriously. So don't send him your naked pic. Just stop taking his calls if you don't know how to say no. He can end up blackmailing you with the photo, maybe by saying he will post it on the web or show your mum if you don't sleep with him or whatever. At your age, seeing an older guy means he could be a pedophile. Don't you ever watch the news or talk shows with kids your age after they have been raped? 90% of child molesters are known to the victim as boyfriends, neighbours, aquaintances, relatives etc. So if he is asking for a child your age to send a naked pic then you could be setting yourself up for a dangerous situation. Don't think because you know him he won't try anything. This is the work I do and I see girls like you everyday who ignored their instincts. So listen to that little voice in your head. Just tell him your mum read his texts and now she wants to call the police so he should back off or whatever you can say to get away from him.

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A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (21 February 2010):

SirenaBlusera agony auntYou don't wanna make him feel bad?

This guy's trying to manipulate you. He has no right to make you feel guilty about refusing to pose for a naked picture. You don't OWE ANYONE a naked picture and you SHOULDN'T do it. You'd be opening up the door for abuse.

A rule of thumb: If it's something that would upset your mom, were she to find out, then it's something you probably shouldn't be doing.

You're totally correct to refuse to do it. You're not being rude or mean. He's in the wrong for manipulating you.

I agree with these other posters, the guy is a creep and a pervert.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (21 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntAnd blackmail.. I forgot about that... once he has those pictures, he'll threaten to show everyone unless you do things for him. Before you know it, you'll have sex to get them pictures back, then he'll blackmail you about that and you'll start doing all kinds of things.

This guy is a dangerous sicko... DUMP AND RUN AWAY QUICK.

Here... more stories of girls bothered by perverts

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-is-showing-naked-pictures-of-me.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-brake-up-with-my-boyfriend-if.html

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (21 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntTell him NO! Your a child, and he is older. He's not even your boyfriend yet. You shouldn't send naked pictures to anyone, (apart from probably your husband) If he likes you, he'll just want to spend time with you. If he only wants sex, he'll ask for naked pictures, and I'm telling you, HE'LL SHOW THESE NAKED PICTURES TO ALL OF HIS FRIENDS. Your picture might even end up on the internet, how will you explain that to your family and friends...

A guy who asks you for pictures before he even dates or kisses you, is a pervert. This guy will have sex with you, and he'll use you and will laugh at you because he has no respect for you at all. All you are to him is a silly young kid who will do anything to keep him happy.. TELL THIS PERVERT, "I'm going to tell my parents that you want naked pictures of me"... I bet he runs away...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010):

You have asked two questions:

1. How to say no to him for sending a naked picture: Say that you are not comfortable doing that. That is all you need to say. And you need to get used to saying 'no' because as you grow up there may be many situations where you will have to risk making people feel bad. But the most important thing about anything sexual or naked is your comfort. It is your body. Never forget that.

2. ABout him and you hanging out together... Yes, of course, you need to ask your mom. But it does not sound like a good idea to hang out with him. A couple of months ago a girl wrote about being forced to have sex in the park where she met her online date for the first time. She was traumatised. If you are considering dating it should happen with nice guys with your parents approval.

Everyone is right. If you are so nervous, there is something wrong.

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A female reader, Tigerlily United States +, writes (21 February 2010):

Honey I don't know who this "older" guy is, but good relationships with good men don't ever make us feel uncomfortable to the point where we want to puke. What he is asking for is WAY out of line. That sick feeling you have is your inner knowing's way of telling you - red flag! steer clear! You need to listen to that and respect and care for YOURSELF way more than worrying about making this guy feel bad. He's clearly not worrying about making YOU feel bad, is he?

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (21 February 2010):

Do not do it. Look at all those women who have done it and then found their picture on the internet. Don't do it.

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A male reader, baddogbj China +, writes (21 February 2010):

baddogbj agony auntNo, no, no, no, no. Don't do it. Really don't do it.

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A female reader, boo22 United Kingdom +, writes (21 February 2010):

boo22 agony auntOh hun, NO NO NO! Absolutely no good will come of this I guarantee it!!

You say you don't want him to feel bad. If you do send him a naked picture it'll be you feeling bad when he's put it on the internet or sent it to his friends and everyone at school has seen it.

Only an immature sleazeball would want you to do something like this. Let him feel bad. I think your concerned he won't want you if you don't do what he wants.

Act like a lady hun, not like a tramp. That's the way to make him respect you x

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A female reader, veronika Australia +, writes (21 February 2010):

veronika agony auntUm, you're 13-15 years old. No matter how old this guy is, he shouldn't have a naked picture of you (for obvious reasons - you're underage), and if you feel uncomfortable then you should just tell him "NO". You may care about him, but in all honesty, telling him 'no' should not hurt his feelings, and if it does and he tries to guilt you into sending him a naked picture - then he's a jerk and he's not worth your time.

Speak up and tell him what's on your mind instead of being passive. Because if you stay silent, he may pressure you more and more and you may eventually give in.

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A male reader, Honest Answer United States +, writes (21 February 2010):

Honest Answer agony auntUnless you are willing to have the whole world see you in the buff, don't ever give a BF a nakid picture. It takes but one second to post a picture on the internet, and once it is there, it is there forever.

Don't do it.

Good Luck!

Jeff

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A female reader, Honeii United States +, writes (21 February 2010):

No, because nude pictures always spread quick. You should tell him no because he might send your nude pics to his guy friends. If he gets mad cause you told him No then he's not truly interested in you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010):

You started talking just today and you are going to send him a naked pic! NO. You are so nervous you are going to puke - it's not right. Come on ,you are not comfortable with it. Tell him no, he's a pervert.

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