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He wants a break when I don't believe in them, how do I act if he tries to contact me?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 April 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 11 April 2011)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend asked me for a 'break' today. In my mind there is no such thing as a break but I didn't really feel like expressing that, or anything else to him at the time.

He said he had a lot of stuff to deal with and that he needs to straighten out his life. He said he feels like he's been a really shoddy boyfriend to me lately (which is true) and that it's not fair to me, but I don't think this is the right way to deal with it. He said I can't help him with what's going on and that he has to deal with it alone, and that he hopes it doesn't last long.

He still wants to talk and hang out, but I wouldn't know how to act if we do. I'm still angry and upset. How do I act if he tries to contact me? I'd feel guilty for showing anger, but at the same time I can't pretend I'm not upset.

Should I take his reasons at face value?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (11 April 2011):

Honeypie agony auntI would ask him what he expect from you (and himself) while on this break. Are you still going to be exclusive or not? How long does he think the break should be? and WHY does he think you should wait for him to straighten out his stuff? Do you two still talk while on break?... that is a good start.

Honestly, I'm like you, I don't believe in breaks. For me it usually mean that someone want to "try" something (or someone) else and a break makes it legitimate.

Either a couple is together or they are not. Coffee breaks belong in the work place, not in a relationship.

Good luck. Talk to him. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away. :)

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