A
female
age
41-50,
*ooz
writes:Break up or wait??!I'm in need of some impartial advice!I've been with my partner for nearly 5 years now.We are both professionals owning houses very near each other (don't live together).My partner is 32 was married and has a daughter - from what he tells me the relationship was quite bad. We generally have quite a good relationship but communication has always been a problem because he does not like to talk about feelings.I'm 30 and feel my life is good and feel ready to really commit.Just over a year ago we had a termination, it was not a planned pregnancy. He seemed ok when we first found out but gradually became more negative. I feel termination was more his decision than mine.Recently he has asked me 3 times to stop birth control as he feels ready to have a baby, but not to get married.I think that marriage is no where near as big of a commitment as having a baby and don't understand. I really really don't want to have child out of marriage so my dilemma is do I wait and pray he'll change his mind or call it a day. 1st option worries me because of my age and the fertility ticking away and the 2nd option will definitely break my heart.Please help I may go crazy. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (26 May 2007):
 Look, you want marriage before having a child.
He is up for a child, but not for being married again.
He is not going to change.
So, your choice is either you change, or find someone new.
Neither will be pleasant short term. Which one can you live with long term?
That is it.
-FBK
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (26 May 2007):
 If he can't commit to a marraige, how can he commit to a child? I'm suprised that he holds onto the one he has, because that's just as large a commitment as marraige. I agree with you, you should be married. I think that you should find someone else who is ready to commit. The guy also is being selfish by not looking for a mother for his children... Get rid of him.
DV1
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