A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend had words,no real drama,he txt me saying he was going to propose on valentines day but i had blown it,i am seriously hurting as i wanted so much to love, takecare of him whatever arises till death do we part,and that stems from both my parents, whom only parted in death im an oldfashioned girl in that way.so can anyone explain how he can sit and watch me break my heart an not once come and hug me,yet he wanted marriage for us,how? yet he cant or wont acknowledge the pain im suffering, seems im the lucky one. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (19 February 2007):
 Yeah the old "I WAS going to do such and such, but because of YOU, I didn't" line. It's crap and pretty lame as well. Do you have any other proof he was going to propose othe than his saying so? I doubt it. Sounds like a loser and you'll probably have to put up with these kind of games all the time if you stay with him. I'd move on to greener pastures if I were you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2007): Sweetie, this is a tatic that an abusive man uses. It's coercive power.
He tells you something you wanted and desired and DESERVE (and he knows it is what you want, he knows)...and then says that he was going to propose...what a hero and such a good guy but then you blew it. You are the reason you hurt, you are the reason you are unhappy, it is all your fault-this is not love or respect, he wants to destroy and hurt you. He secretly hates women. He probably had an unaffectionate Mother.
He went out of his way to inform you so he could inflict pain and devastation on you. He has done this from day one, I gaurantee it. This is a pattern and pattern indicates abusive personality.
To stay with this man will further cause you to doubt your self worth, question your every motive and move as it is always the wrong one, even when you are being a kind and considerate woman-he paints it out as you are cold and calculating. He will have you on the verge of a nervous breakdown as you will begin to feel emotionally unbalanced and he will begin to attack your mindstate, mentality and say how unstable you are, knowing he put you there but really...it's all you.
You are his prey, a game. I wouldn't be surprise if he aluded to your relationship being a game.
I know as my Ex BF was the same way. It took my Loving Dad to finally say...I have had enough of witnessing and hearing from you Mother what this loser is doing to you and pointed out that my Ex BF has this same qualities,abusive, controlling and manipulative.
After my Dad clued me in, I could totally see the set up questions that the Ex BF would ask so he could deny me and say no and tell me that he had already made plans and that he will see me when he is ready and on his time. CONTROL, ABUSE.
I ditched the idiot. And I feel happier, I have more peace, I am more focused, and I remember how happy I can be and how much I love myself. I DESERVE happiness and the idiot couldn't enhance it, he deliberately robbed from me.
Get some counselling to help you get stronger and determine out why you are attracted to an abusive man and to help you build yourself up to a strong state of mind where you can see with new eyes that the man you are with is an absolute idiot and loser.
Best Wishes.
*hugs*
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2007): what had you blown exactly? i dont understand, there must have been something wrong if he can say youve blown it and ignore your feelings. You definatly need to have a sit down a good long chat to work things out to see if you can come to an agreement. Good Luck x
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