| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hi friends,I need to talk to you,I would like some advice and but I don't want to go into full detail, but hopefully enough for you to help me.I had been dating this guy for 2 months until tonight. He ended things, because we were not having sex. He tried to have sex with me on our first date, but I told him that I didn't move that fast. We continued to date and on most dates the whole 2 months except about 3,times he would try the sex thing.He said he liked me a lot and I was crazy about him. One thing though, I have never been married and was looking for a long term relationship that would maybe someday go in that direction. I'm not talking about right now ,but maybe a couple of years from now. He just recently got out of a marriage and was looking for a friend to be intimate with and have fun.Even though we had different things on our mind , I liked him enough to still have sex with him, but I needed to tell him something before we crossed that line. I could never get the nerves to tell him, because I felt like he would reject me especially since he was not looking for a committed relationship,and I difinitely wasn't going to have sex with him without telling him.My heart is hurting now, because his has ended things,but I do understand we all have our wants. If I would have told him and he rejected me ,I would have felt worst than I do now. Do you think I did the right thing.
View related questions:
broke up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, doom  +, writes (30 November 2009):
 Ok i see you had lot's of answers.I agree 50 % with them but the quesiton is why reject sex?is it so bad? and i'm sur as a women you had the idea of having sex with him if you were dating 2 months...and when did you want to have it?a week?month? Men reject women on 1st time of sex rejection, maximum 2nd rejection.But he "asked you "3 times.You are adults, he did it right, cause he felt hurt...that maybe he wosn't good enough for you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): Absolutely. I'm with you 100%. He really didn't care about you, e just wanted to use your vagina.
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (30 November 2009):
Did you do the right thing by not telling him or did you do the right thing by not having sex?
If it's regarding not telling him, I think you probably should have told him when he told you he just wanted "fun." That could have probably saved you some time and less attachment to him. I think either way he would have respected that by either A) If he liked you enough he would wait until you were ready, or B) He would have cut ties because you two wanted different things.
If it's the latter, about not having sex; of course you did the right thing if it's not what you want right off the bat. You shouldn't have sex with a guy just to keep him around, it'a about when you're ready and want to. If a guy can't handle it, then it's his problem.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (30 November 2009):
 I think you both have such different views on things such as marriage and sex that the relationship would have ended sooner or later.
If he was only hanging around for the possibility of sex you have done the right thing. ALthough it can be a very important aspect of a good relationship I think mutual respect and and understanding of each others view and feelings is just as important. Something he clearly didnt have.
The hurt will soon ease, the memories will be painful for a while, but with time, they too will fade.
...............................
|
