| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I've known this guy for about 5 months now, we work together and he caught my eye straight away! Ever since day one we got along like a house on fire. Just before christmas we went out for a drink with work and he walked me home, he then confessed that he's really fond of me too and it made me feel really special and was nice to know he felt the same towards me as i did to him. Theres only one problem, hes married! He were breaking up with his wife before we even talked and he said that he wants me as soon as the divorce has been done! I really like this guy and think i've fallen for him and he tells me he loves me too. There is no sexual relationship there and we are not having an affair. I just dont know what to do?
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affair, christmas, divorce Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (28 June 2007):
 Do nothing. The ball is in his court. Wait and see if he goes ahead and files for divorce like he said he's planning to do. You can continue to be his friend, but I wouldn't take it any further because you could end up getting very hurt if he decides to stay with his wife.
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns +, writes (10 January 2007):
There's nothing you can do. The ball is in his court. If in fact, he was already planning to exit his marriage, let him continue with those plans. And when the ink has dried on his divorce papers, you will be waiting in the wings. Until then, be supportive but just remain friends. It'll be so much easier on both of you if you wait until AFTER his divorce to become intimate. Trust me on this one. Sometimes they change their minds.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2007): I would be a lot cautious with this in that he is on the rebound and most rebound relationships are short lived, they help the person on the rebound distract themselves from what they are really feeling over the loss of their relationship, he needs time to grieve for that loss and to sort out his feelings...if you want to be a friend during this time I suppose that would not hurt you, but if you start a sexual affair, you may be dissappointed when he leaves in a few months time...
Right now the two of you are infatuated which is only the first stage of attraction, there is the attachment phase next and the spiritual and mental and emotional bonding phase last, which you may never work through if he is on the rebound....so take it nice and slow.
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A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 Do what you are doing. Even if this man no longer wants to be with his wife divorce is a very hard and emotional time. He's already told you he likes you so relax, but I'm afraid you might have to be patient, be there to have a good chat with and talk to each other and keep things open and communicate. I can't help thinking though that the last thing you want after going through a divorce is another serious relationship. Just be careful and trust your instincts they are usually right and as they say nothing ventured nothing gained! Good Luck!
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