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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am clueless what went wrong with this guy I dated for a year. He used to be very sensible and even if I wasn't so attracted to him, his being rational, smart and level headed made me fall in love with him thinking I found a man who is unique. He gives me the best advises and cares for my welfare so much.After a year, i found out he cheated on me and said he had done it because he felt I didn't love him and don't care about him. Because of this, we broke up. After a month, he finished with the 3rd party. He kept in touch with me in a strange way by delaying to return my things and not paying me what he owes me. Then a little later he begged me to see him, when I saw him, he confessed that he missed me so much. I thought he wanted me back, but next day, he changed his mind and he had a lot of excuses.Still we had to communicate as we have some unfinished business. Then in between these things, he would contact me even if I started ignoring him. I agreed to see him once more to settle the unfinished stuff and right after he called me again to inform me that he will be just around waiting for my call. What happened to the man I once knew? He used to be a smart person who has one word, a no non-sense guy. Now he acts like a manchild and I don't know which to believe in the things that he says. He wants me out of his life then contradicts it. He said we should not contact each other then says he will wait for my call.Is he going crazy? Did our break up messed up his mind?At this point I can say I am turned off and could say he has lost his credibility. But I wonder why he had become this kind of guy who seems to not know what he really wants.Opinions pls!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2009): He is muslim, you are catholic. There is your answer. He cannot be with you because of that. That is just the reality of the situation.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much girls for your replies, really appreciate it.
Actually, i find it hard to believe too that we are over but there is nothing i can do about it so i just endure the pain and hope everyday that the pain will go away.
I don't know why he is acting like this. Though the main reason we broke up is because we can't get married and have discussed this many times as he is muslim and I am catholic.
So when we decided it's over, i expected it to be really over. But he started behaving like this. I asked him if he wants me back as he said he still loves me and misses me, and he said no. That if he ever hugged me or kissed me, is that it was stupid of him to do that because he is supposed not to.
It seems he is contradicting himself all the time. he concludes we are over than next time he changes his mind. It's like he is so confused with himself.
Don't know which of the things he really feels for me...
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (9 September 2009):
I've been through this before with a boyfriend that I lived with. After we broke up he said he, "couldn't not have me in his life," but he would be hot and cold all the time. One day he was telling me he missed me and he messed up, then the following day he had a total change of heart. This was usually after a phone call that ended up making me excited and happy, thinking that he was coming around and I had the guy that I fell in love with back, but it wasn't the case.
I think it's a combination of him not being sure of what he wants and just being lonely. When he gets lonely, he thinks about you and that he's now missing a good thing (some level of comfort), so he calls you up and wants to see you to satisfy that lonely feeling he's having. At the time, he thinks that you're exactly what he wants...then the following day after his need is satisfied, he goes back to feeling like he doesn't want a relationship with you. It's really just him being selfish and playing with your emotions.
I don't know about him suddenly becoming crazy (which, to most people, the behavior is seen this way since it's totally different from the guy you "thought" you knew), I think that his true colors are shining through and he's in reality not the guy that you thought you knew and possibly his feelings have just changed. And men always say women are the crazy ones...
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (9 September 2009):
 My honest opinion is, write off the stuff of yours he has and the money he owes you.
There is no telling what is going through his mind, because he doesn't know.
You are a strong, sexy and independent woman worthy of a strong and independent man. You don't have time for childish games. Who cares what his motivation is? You don't have time for it.
One thing is certain. The person you are seeing now is the REAL him.
Good luck!
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