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female
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*ana24
writes: I've been dating this guy for 2 1/12 years he 52 years old im 35 years old. but my question is that he live with someone else, we work together for 6 years he told her about me, they been together for over 10 years. we travel together he spend times with me, but i just don't understand why she having left him. he told me that he in love with me but love her. i just don't want to get hurt any more i need your help should i speak to her woman to woman or should i wait to he ready to move out Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2006): He doesn't sound confused to me and doesn't need you to give him "time and space" as Starkiss says.
He cheated on her with you and says he told her about you -whether he did actually tell her or not is a whole other question.
You are better off without this man!
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (21 November 2006):
 Whomever is responsible for coming up with the phrase "I love you but I'm not in love with you" and visa versa crap should be shot. It has to be almost as irritating as that damn "soulmate" crap. Now to address your problem (of your own making by the way) Would you like to buy some swamp land? How about a lovely bridge in New York? Dump the two-timing jerk and straighten up and fly right. Your life begins today. Good luck.
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female
reader, Starkiss +, writes (21 November 2006):
 You said he's in love with you but love her? mybe he loves her in a diffrent way or he could be just confuse give him time and space.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006): ER!!! He is having his cake and eating it! Or am i missing the plot??
Why are you still in this situation, he has two girlfriends, you and her. What is going on? where is your self esteem. She doesn't know about you. How can this be allowed to go on. Is this some religious sect? I just don't get it. Why haven't you ran like hell? Get a job elsewhere and certainly well away from him.
You are only 35!! Get out there and get a life. Don't be a trophy for this pig! He will do it to someone else, if he isn't already. There are probably a harem full of you ladies around the country.
Take care and get rid.
xx
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (21 November 2006):
 The other woman is not the problem here - it is definitely the man you are seeing and at 35 I would have thought you would have figured all that out on your own. I personally wouldn't settle for a man who tells me he loves me + another lady. You have to face facts here...he cheated on her with you, he can cheat on you with another woman. When men want to be with you then they will just do it. He hasn't left her for you because he doesn't want to...he has 2 women, and he likes it. You try to blame the other lady because it deflects you from the truth of the situation which is this relationship is not likely to work out in your favour. So, to answer your question, I wouldnt contact the other woman (if he really has told her then she may have forgiven him but he may not have really told her anything). I also wouldn't 'wait' until he is ready to move out...that may never happen and in all probability if he was going to then he would have done it by now. You are a young woman...go out...live your life...get a man who isn't shacked up with someone else!
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