| A
female
age
36-40,
*ugagurl286
writes: Okay, heres my thing...my best friend is a guy and we have been very very close best friends for about 2 years. We have tried to date before like a long time ago but we didnt because i chose not to, but about 3 months ago we decided to start dating and everything has been great! We got serious really really fast since we were so close for so long before we even thought about dating. He told me he loved me and i was the only girl he has ever felt this way about. He even talked to me about marriage in the future and all of that. I love him with all of my heart but this is my true problem....About a week ago he asked me if we could talk and he told me he loved someone else...and that it was a guy! He told me that he loves him as a person and he can't help that it is a guy and he doesn't want to be gay..but he thinks he is bi....i was soooo hurt at first and still cannot believe this has happened. He lives with me though and its so hard because i do not know what to do because i love him as a best friend and as a boyfriend! He says he sees me as a wife/girlfriend but he is in love with this guy on another level! has anyone gone through this I NEED help!all i need is advice! thanks :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2006): if he loves this guy on another level maybe he is gay. What i mean is the fact the two of you are so close and have a deep friendship could lead this confused boy to mistake the love he had for you as a friend as romantic love(as friendship love is and feels very deep), and now maybe he realises that his true feelings(lust/sex) overwhelm him as he has a person to attach them to. Anyway, i'm gay and i have a female friend who in the past i was so attached to that i would have married her if i was able to and told her so. the difference is that by then i had sex with a lot of men. if i was in denial its entirely plausible that i may have mistaken this for romantic love, and started a relationship. if this is what has happened make sure that you think of your needs first. you are not basecamp for experimentation and be sure to make that clear. if this is the situation dont be too hard on him but also dont blame yourself. this could seriously damage your self esteem if you let it. remember that relationships that begin as friendships are still one of the best ways to gain a meaningful relationship.i may be getting this wrong but for the way you present it it sounds like what i'm saying has an element of truth
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