A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I am writing to see if someone can help me please with a problem that I am going through.I had been dating my partner for 12 months before we broke up a month ago.Things were going great, I was refered to as my beautiful boy, and on my birthday thanked me for being his partner, he even wrote a beautiful letter with thanking me and praising me for both who I am and what I mean to him, with the key to his home and chocolates.He has been dealing with depression and a drinking problem where he has been trying to give up, he has aslo been on prescribed anti depressants for a few months, I have tried to be a real support for in that time and even now after we have broken up.But, he told me early last month that he could not do 'us' , and that he was dealing with some issues and needed to be alone, and just wanted to be friends, I found it hard to understand because all I wanted was to be there for him, but I agreed and allowed that time for him.The following day he said that he really did not want to break up, but when I was there he was on a real high and then after I am gone he falls into depression, and feels bad again.Three days after we saw each other he sent me a text saying he was missing me and will never know how much he loves me, and I saw him a week ago and stupidly just showed up at his house, he was wrapped to see me and told me he misses, I stayed over and then after we chatted the other day he told me that it cant happen, because we still have strong feeling for each other and are not moving on as friends, he did tell me that he doubts he will be partners again, but said that he would find it hard if I met someone else but would have to accept it, he want me to be happy and make myself and him proud, but I am really confused and really would like some advice.We still love each other very much and miss each other, but doing a friendship is something is something that I really am finding hard at the moment and as he has said I am not able to do a relationship and need to be alone, just want him to know how much I care and love him dearly. Can someone please help .
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): i do not know how people still want to be friends after they break your heart. for ime it is all or nothing.
this guy is emotionally shallow. he will not chnage, only string you along. so maybe it is time to mourn the loss of this relationship, slowly pick yourself up and then move on.
bottom line - you cannot be this guys 'friend'. have some respect for yourself and make a decision to move on. this so called "friendship" thing will only make you more miserable and it means that you will always be the one hoping for it to become more. in the end, before you actually know it, time will fly by, months into years, just being his friend.
cut off all contact and move on.
good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): I am sorry to say: its a common fault in people that we can believe that people love us but NEED to be away from us. I am so sorry to be harsh but why would he need to be away from you if he cared so much for you? It doesn't make sense. I believe that you do not love each other equally and that you should respect his decision as difficult as it my be! The hardest part is letting go but its better to find someone that loves you and wants to stay. Good luck xx
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