A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and i have had a lot of up's and downs. we love each other, and it seems he dont want to break up. not everything we fight about is his fault, but when we do fight, he throws his ex's in my face. "his ex's trusted him better" "his ex's were freakier in the bedroom and liked porn more then me" and "he used to date models" the list goes on about why his ex's were so wonderful and i cant ever get a straight story about why they broke up. im not the kind of person who dwells on a guy's past, but when he tells me this stuff to hurt my feelings, it does hurt my feelings and its making me`uncomfortable to do common things with him like get undressed, open up about the insecurities i have, or when i have a problem and want to talk about it with him, i choose not to because his wonderful ex's i guess put up with anything and everything. i dont feel he's a bad person, he only says this stuff when he's mad. i know he' immature for it, but knowing that he's immature for doing it doesn't make me feel any better about myself. how should i approach this, is there anyway to approach this without breaking up? and is there anyway to feel better about myself and stop taking everything he says to heart
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): If he keeps comparing you to his other ex's and lashing out how much "better" they were than you, what's keeping you with him? When someone loves you they love all of you for your talents, flaws, and everything in between. Him doing this only verifies he has unresolved issues and most likely doesn't care for you in the same way that you do for him. Which in my eyes is good cause the sooner you realize this and move on from him the chances of finding someone who will cherish and truly love you increase dramatically and they will NEVER tell you that you are anything less than your the best thing that's ever happened to them.
Best of luck in moving on!
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 November 2010):
 If his EX was SO great, she wouldn't be his EX ,she would be his current.
Tell him to leave the EX out of your fights, because you don't care about her, you care about him and you. There can only be TWO people on a relationship, so he needs to let go of the EX.
Personally I would let him go. Tell him to fly a kite.. with his EX..
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (9 November 2010):
 His wonderful exes probably didn't put up with this crap and dumped him.
The only way around this him making you feel inferior, is to talk about it with him. Tell him you don't like him throwing ex this ex that in your face, it's rather childish, and only fuels the fire. You're both adults do there's no reason you can't work this out, without him comparing you to his past girlfriends.
If he continues to continues to do so even after your talk, then I would think what would his exes do in this situation? Oh yeah, dump him since they're an ex.
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A
female
reader, DenimandLace44 +, writes (9 November 2010):
 He is immature! If his ex's were so great why isn't he still with them? Maybe for the same reason that it won't last between the two of you. Move on and find someone who appreciates you for who you are and not continually putting you down for who you arent.
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