A
female
age
30-35,
*wl26
writes:I have had a huge crush on this guy for over 6 months, we get on so well and have some pretty intense chemistry, we always met up during summer and on a night out we kissed. The kiss didn't change anything he made me like him even more and I told him that I liked him and he admitted to me that he liked me back. However in september we both went away to different universities and drifted apart. A few days ago I found out from a mutual friend of ours that he has got a girlfriend and they have been together for about 5 weeks. I feel so upset that he didn't both telling me about this and that he threw me away just like that. The problem is that I still like him alot and I hate to see him with someone else it hurts me so much! what can I do to get over him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): You say he "threw you away", but you also acknowledged that he "drifted apart."
Women sometimes try to make a brief encounter more meaninful and personal after the fact by dramatizing it. It sounds like that's what you are doing now.
You can choose to believe that he "drifted away" like most people do from their highschool friends when they go off to different universities.
Or you can choose to believe that he is with a new girlfriend just to spite you.
People drift away all the time. It sucks to feel the way you do and to a certain degree your feeling are not even under your control, but you can choose the way you want to interpret the situation.
Perhaps try to find men at your university?
A
female
reader, AuntyMaur  +, writes (15 January 2011):
 Having a crush and being in a committed relationship are 2 different things. He was not committed to you,he moved away and moved on. It will take some time but you need to let this go. Keep yourself busy and when your are ready another man will enter into your life.
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