A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy on the 22nd of September 2013. We been talking every single day and been texting each other and said he wanted to be with me but nobody else. he is 24 and I am 26 . he told me he smokes weed and told him to stop smoking and had an argument about that. I told him to stop . he said he doesn't want to be with be because he thinks we are arguing. he promised me that he would never leave me or anything. I really like him and wanted to work with him. he lives in san Francisco and I leave an hour and half from him. I have seen him once since we met . we had a date and it was great. he thinks its not healthy to be together because we are arguing which we are not. he told me over a text instead of calling me. my question is what should I do? Should I let him go or fix? I really want to fix it. Please I need help I really love him. He is not lovey dobby but Please help me.
View related questions:
smokes, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 October 2013):
 I'm going to translate for you. What he means isn't that you argue. You know you don't. You had that one argument. What he means is this: He wants to smoke weed, and he doesn't want to stop, and he doesn't want to be with you because you're going to be against him smoking.
And lets face it, you are against him smoking. You don't like it, you want him to stop. He isn't going to stop. So, do you like him enough to accept him being a druggie and probably going to waste his life because of it? Sure, he might end up fine. But he just as well might not. And even if he ends up being fine with smoking, managing to keep a job, not getting into heavier drugs and wasting all his money on it etc, not getting caught by police and land in trouble.. Well even if, is this a man you have a future with? Can he be a good father for your future children? Do you want your future wedding to include him sitting in a corner getting high on his drugs?
No?
Then don't accept it. Leave. You don't HAVE to be with every man you get along with and who seems nice. You can have an equally great time with someone else, someone who doesn't do drugs. Someone who's mature enough to actually say what they means as well, rather than hide behind some lie about "how you argue so much".
He's not that great, lets face it. He is dumping you and it's not even been a month. Let him go and be happy about it. He's not the one for you, and there is nothing to "fix". Women can not FIX a man! You need to understand that. He doesn't want to be fixed. He's fine being just the way he is, so leave him be and find someone who already IS your perfect man.
There's nothing to fix about the relationship either (if you can call it that at under a month). He has a problem, and he doesn't want to talk about it. He dumped you. He doesn't want to work it through, fix it, or do anything about it. He gave you the boot, so just walk away. Yeah he promised he'd never leave you, and guess what? Plenty of guys will say just about anything to get you to bed. Words don't make it come true, actions is what speaks the truth. He said he wouldn't ever leave you, but lo and behold.. he just did.
Move on. He wasn't all that great. You can do better.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (13 October 2013):
Here's the problem: you want to fix things, including him. You said you had an argument about him smoking pot and he said he doesn't like the arguing, but you claim it's not an argument...kind of confusing.
He probably knows already that it is going to be an ONGOING argument because he is not going to stop smoking weed. So either you're going to have to deal with it or not be with him. So it's up to you to decide if it's a deal breaker or not. You met him 3-weeks ago and have seen him once! You're not in love with him, you're infatuated with him. I really don't see this working out.
...............................
|
