A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I just wondered if any women have had a situation where a man has accused them of being 'angry' as in inherently angry, when almost no one else that they know has ever said anything remotely like this?I recently had a situation in which a man who I know was/possibly still is attracted to me said that he was not sure if he could deal with my 'anger'. I was totally flummoxed by this. I've asked close friends and they've basically said that his comment is nuts, makes no sense at all and that I am pretty much the LAST person that they would think of in that way. Another friend said the only thing she could think was that he'd been very, very dominated by his ex wife and was looking for any remote sign of similar 'anger' leaking out rather than being directly expressed, so that he may have misinterpreted some things that I said as 'evidence' of this leaking anger - and that he was also trying not to blame me exactly but just saying "I cannot handle any anger in any woman, I'm too weak", so was just being honest.The other weird thing is that, later - but not at the time - I started to feel a bit...wait for it...angry (!) that he had 'accused' me of this. It's left me really confused and I feel like if I try to talk to him about it I will, ironically, end up getting angry with him and only prove him right...!
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female
reader, KittieS +, writes (15 January 2014):
 Hello,Yes I have :) and I am not a naturally angry person at all, I'm a someone spills a glass of red wine down my favourite dress I'm going to see at as an accident and more than likely apologise if I see someone upset at the fact they just did that (happened to me the other day :) )there are things that make me angry, but it takes a lot to push me to that point.I had a boyfriend like this for a while, and it was actually him that was the one with all the pent up anger issuesIf I disagreed with him on anything, and this could be as simple as my view on a TV programme... he would start accusing me of being aggressive and an angry individual.if I said no to anything, I was in one of my "angry moods" and yes you guessed it, when I started to really think about how this individual could treat me like this, make me feel guilty for not wanting to do something I didn't want to do it made me feel angryI did regrettably spend some time trying to appease this individual. My confidence levels were not great at the time, I felt I had to prove something, I had to prove I wasn't an angry person.It ended with him being more and more angry, and me being made to feel so horrible but thankfully with very good friends I got out of what was an awful, thankfully brief relationship
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack  +, writes (15 January 2014):
Entirely possible. (Your friend's theory, that is.)
Unfortunately, lots of people carry baggage from old relationships right into new, or even potential, new ones. Think of those (and we all know them!) who have uncontrollable jealousy and use their past cheating spouse as an excuse, an excuse usually to harass/control the new partner.
It does sound as though HE is the one with the issue.
Personally I'd drop the guy like a hot potato.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 January 2014):
 This:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/yashar-hedayat/a-message-to-women-from-a_1_b_958859.html
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