A
female
age
36-40,
*C85
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. We have had many ups and downs but we are both crazy about each other. The only issues we have is when it comes to sex.He says he doesn't feel like a man because he can't make me cum and i'm the first person that this has happened with. But I have only ever cum once in my life that I know of and that was with a vibrator. I know he gets upset about this but I don't really think much of it. It's never been an issue for me in the past as you can't miss what you've never known. If there was a way to make me cum I would love to know? Is this really so uncommon? He's made me feel that there is something wrong with me even though I know thats not his intention. He just thinks I don't enjoy our sex life whereas I love it.If this is normal then how can i make him see its not a such a big thing? please help!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (9 November 2009):
 Where there's a will there's a way. You'll get there sweetheart and I'll bet it will be a blinger!
A
female
reader, PC85 +, writes (9 November 2009):
PC85 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe knows me too well. i would never try and fake it because he would know and also deserves better than that. it has been alot of fun its just annoying i can't cum for him.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (9 November 2009):
Just don't fall into the trap where you start faking orgasms just to make HIM feel better. That is a definite no win situation. You two just need to keep experimenting and trying different things...things will click eventually. Good luck the research can be a lot of fun!
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A
female
reader, PC85 +, writes (9 November 2009):
PC85 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for that. I really do wish i could come for him. There's nothing i want more. I love him more than anything and i hate to think that i'm upsetting him with this even though i feel its something i have no control over. We have tried masturbating together and playing with various toys. We have tried lots of things like watching porn together but nothing seems to work!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2009): Talk to him! Make him understand! A LOT of women dont come. And many who do come can only come when they masturbate. But on the other side: wouldn't you just love it if your boyfriend could make you come? I understand where he comes from too, wouldn't you be sad if you couldn't please your man? He wants to make you feel great as can be, so give it a chance.Find your vibrator again and get started with it on your own. Getting an orgasm feels great, so this is definitely something you can do for your own sake. Once you get a grip of how to do it alone, try letting him watch. It might not work, it might take a while, and it might take several tries. The important thing is to enjoy it! Try masturbating as foreplay and let him watch, if it doesnt work you can move on to having sex instead.After you are able to come and have him in the same room, and have him touching you (your breasts for example, or kissing you) at the same time, you can start up with the vibrator and then let him finish you off. Or let him lick you and then finish off with the vibrator.This can work! I didnt think I could ever come either, but using the vibrator together with my boyfriends tongue works! Closing your eyes and thinking about the sexiest thing you know helps a lot too!Best of luck!
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