A
female
age
36-40,
*lapure4
writes:Dear Cupid,I'm confused. There's this guy who I have known since high school. He apparently liked me back then, even though I had a boyfriend and I hardly noticed him. Fast forward four years...I ran into him through a mutual friend's party this April. He immediately stuck out to me, especially because we have so much in common and I am single now. He began pursuing me, and it wasn't long until I began to like him for who he was. He lives three hours away, and he is a musician, a college student, and has a full-time job, so he is constantly busy. I just saw him two weeks ago and we were intimate. He claims that we are exclusive and he loves who I am inside and out. However, here is the problem...He thinks a relationship will distract him right now. He wants to take it slow and see where it goes. I feel titles matter, and he doesn't. Should I just let this go, or should I make him see my point? Would an ultimatum (either we become a couple or we just go back to being friends) work??? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2011): See if he will commit to sleeping with nobody else but you. That's where you find out if he really wants you or if he is just keeping is options open in case something better comes along.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 July 2011):
 personally he is saying he doesn't have the time to devote to you.... whether that's the truth or the truth as he sees it to come up with a reason for not having a full fledged relationship with you does not matter...it's what he's saying and it's probably close to what he means...
I think like Aunt Honesty an ultimatum will backfire.
I'd just chalk it up to life experience and accept him as a friend and move forward.. maybe later when he's not so busy or not so unsure or he's more into you he will change his mind.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 July 2011):
 I think it is a bit to soon for an ultimatum if I am truthful. He is obviously unsure about a relationship at the moment, and that is probably because of how busy he is he knows he hasn't got much time to spend with you which is probably not fair on you. If you do really like him however well then use the next few months to get to know him better and spend some time with him. After a few months well then maybe talk about a relationship and if he is still not interested well then maybe then you could tell him that it is all or nothing.
...............................
|
