A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Am I reading too much into my New Years date..?I met a guy 6 mths ago on match. There is a slight age gap he is 52, 12 yrs older. I felt there was a spark between us and we did meet up several times. He seemed interested but I got the impression he was multi dating so I didn't pursue him. During this period he had disappeared and returned.I spent a evening with him and we were briefly intimate, I think he has some insucurities as he held back a lot. He is affectionate and treats me very well when I'm at his place.It seems we only seem to meet up every couple of months. Just before Xmas I was considering deleting him and moving on without him in the new year. He then starts to text me and to my surprise invites me out with him for New Years.As we hadn't really had a proper night out together I agreed to see if maybe he'd open up to me..I had a great night and he was a perfect gent, I spent the night and again he was a gent. We shared a few kisses and I felt I'd got to know him better. The problem is he will go quiet on me now. I just don't get this guy. To me spending New Years with a guy actually means something. Is it possible he likes me and is slowly letting me in or maybe he had no other plans and didn't want to be alone New Years?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 January 2016):
 He had no other plans and did not want to be alone New Years Eve. Or, as Honeypie says , he had something else planned but it got canceled.
Look, if he shows up every 2 months, gets intimate, and then disappears,... he does not like you that much. And if he had wished to have your company on New Year's Eve ( as opposed to : the company of an available female whatsoever ), he would have " booked " you with quite some advance because most people , including single people, make various plans and / or get friends' invitations on that particular day.
You seem sort of surprised that he acted kind and nice the ( few ) times you got together , and seem to attach particular meaning to that. Personally I don't think it's so surprising that a 52 y.o man has put together some manners and some social savvy, and knows how to act decent also to a casual date. He is supposed to ! he got plenty of time to learn,- the opposite would be worrysome. And casual means ....casual.Not rude,mean or chilly.
But if casual is not your thing, he is a waste of your time and you'd better focus your attention elsewhere.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2016): Hi and Happy New Year. I agree with Honeypie about this guy. Unfortunately, having been out with many many guys I met online, my New Year's resolution is to no longer engage in that activity. Often these guys play games in which I don't know the rules so I lose every time. Frankly my peers think of me as being enlightened and switched on so if I'm being duped, I think its probably the norm. You do have to vet them thoroughly beforehand and even then you can misjudge and make a mistake. Its all so unfortunate but true. I wish you the best and hope you have another way to meet guys and if you discover it, please let me know how you did it. Thanks, Scottie
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 January 2016):
 Someone who "vanishes" for months I can't imagine is interested in anything serious. Meeting up every couple of months is... well no way to build a lasting relationship.
And while the invitation for New Year might have seemed nice, I think (and take no offence) that he didn't have any other plans or had someone cancel on him, so he went through his little black book and you were either first on the list or the first to say yes.
If he wanted something serious, why go out, be intimate then go silent for weeks?
I'd wish him well and move on.
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