A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I really need some advice! I am 44, I have been with my fella for 5 years now (he is also 44) and in that time he has told several women in chatrooms that he loves them! Thats bad enough and hurts a lot, but now I've found out that hes joined an online adult dating site! His profile reads that he is disillusioned and is looking for women for discreet relationships. He also adds that he is past his best but still looking for the dream he knows is out there somewhere! I am gutted, I cant put into words how I feel, there is nothing wrong with our relationship...as far as I'm aware! I'm always there for him and our sex life is great. Can someone tell me why he would feel the need to do this? And what I shoud do?
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female
reader, DEBS83 +, writes (29 July 2006):
talk to him and tell him that you are not happy with him joining a dating site and telling other woman he loves um is wrong if after you talk to him if it still carrys on than you mite be best taking the internet away i know this seems wrong but if he loves you than iam show he can cope with out the internet but please think long and hard abt this hope its all ok for you
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2006): There is something wrong with your relationship, he can not be trusted.
How do you know all of this? Were you suspicious and started to investigate? That there is indicator to the status of your relationship.
Is he just staying with you and searching for an affair with someone; has he had an affair? If yes, then your relationship is not great.
This is not about your sexlife. It is not about how great you think it is; it's about his mistreatment of you.
Honey, he doesn't love you. He would not be doing such things if he truly did-a man in love would do his utmost to not hurt the woman he loves. A man in love can be trusted and relied on.
He isn't there for you. You can put your all into the relationship but what are you getting back? Heartache.
He doesn't repsect you. He doesn't have consideration for you. He doesn't care snot about the trust that is needed for a good, strong relationship.
For five years you tolerated his cheating with other woman online and in that five years you tolerating it has lead him to believe you gave him permission to cheat on you. He is one slick *insert descriptive*.
If you want to save this relationship, then the two of you must want counselling. He may just want out of the relationship and is being selfish and irresponsible in going about it. He may hope you will stop tolerating his crap and ditch him. I'd kick his sorry arse out to the street.
That is not a man. That is a petulant baby who demands everything and doesn't have to be held accountable; so he thinks.
His disregard for your feelings is neglect.
He is no good for you.
I hope you get strong and do what you must for your future happiness.
*hugs*
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