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female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. This year we started university and while I stayed at home, he went away. We see each other most weekends. I went up this weekend however and I know it's wrong but I couldn't resist looking in his phone (though now I deeply regret it). There were loads of messeges from a girl I've never heard of calling him 'babe' and saying 'I love you' and he sent her similar messages. I asked him and he said that he wants to be with me and he was just missing me so that's why he did it. So I forgave him (I think). I really love him but was I an idiot to believe him? Should I be worried? Please I really need help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): Dear, I don't buy his reasons (missing you)-that's pretty lame and I think you know that. He's just pitifully trying to avoid the messy consequences to his bad behaviours, dear. Too bad, those calls couldn't have been made to YOU, if he missed you so badly. It's pretty clear that he's been cheating or leading up to it. You are now faced with an uncomfortable dilemma and you need to stop being confused about it all. I think, in your heart and mind, you know what really has to be done- you just have to quit being in denial.
Remember he chose to do a wrong against you because it selfishly suited him, at the moment. What message does his behaviour give you? Will he do it again if it suits him?
My guess is yes. Ultimately , every bad action he does is the result of choice with intent, whether or not he blames it on "missing you". Take note of his behaviours and recognize those bad behaviours for what they really are.
He's a cheater-Kick him to the curb and go find someone else, who'll make better choices and treats you the way you deserve to be treated, hun. Take care
Hugs,
Irish
A
female
reader, Topps +, writes (25 October 2005):
Cpmpletely agree with previous answer. Forget about him.
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A
reader, pops +, writes (25 October 2005):
No you should not worry. You should find another guy. He's at the universary, far from home. As much as he misses you, there are obviously women there he can and does date. You found him out. He's been lying to you, stringing you along so he has someone to date back home. He's a jerk. Drop him.
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