A
female
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anonymous
writes:Hi!I've been chatting on the phone and through emails with a guy from NZ.. I'm in the US.. we met on myspace, and we really hit it off... He's everything I've ever wanted in a guy, intelligent, sexy, sweet, funny, independant... the list goes on...We've gotten closer and have had phone sex as it is the only way we have to be close until we can meet, which isn't for at least 6 months...I feel very close to him, and I think about him all the time. I miss him when we don't talk for a few days, I feel like part of me is missing when he's not around...I've tried dating other men to fill my time, just hang out buddies really but I feel like I am cheating on my NZ guy when I do...I've told him how I feel, how much I miss him, and how I love him so much, he is sweet about it, but tells me he doesn't know what missing someone is... he is an only child and spent years in a boarding school... so he tells me he's content to be alone because he always has been...He also tells me he once thought he knew what love was, but now he questions it...I don't have details, but apparently people have told him they love him and made no effort to keep in touch with him and the like...so he won't tell me he loves me back...But he does say sweet things to me, how much he loves to make me laugh, calls me his girl and things like that...sends me poetry and long letters...But I wonder if I am setting myself up to love someone who is not capable of loving me back...I know he cares about me, but I don't want to lose him to someone else because I saw something that wasn't really there in the first place...What do I do?? :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): This relationship is going nowhere. The distance is too great and he for whatever reason does not feel the emotinal attachment you do. You have never met him in person so quite frankly alot of your relationship is in your own mind and heart.
A
male
reader, Peterk5699  +, writes (21 July 2007):
 Long distance relationships are hard, trust me, I've been in 2 or 3. I'm sorry to diappoint you but they very rarely work out. Things happen and it ends with something along the lines of: "I don't think this will work. We're too far apart" or "Our convo's are running dry. I think we should split"
I would recommend you get out there and find someone you can see and speak to daily. But try to make sure he's not the type looking for the 3 F's: Find, F***, Forget.
Hope this helps and good luck!
Pete
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks...
But I think you've mis-understood me...
I don't want to get out and meet other people...he has told me that as long as he knows I care for him and want him, then I am free to do as I please outside of that..but thats not what I want!
The distance thing doesn't bother me, to me it adds to his charm, because if he lived close, well..he wouldn't be who he is...and it's not that we don't want to meet up...we both do..but things are outside of our control right now..money wise...
As far as me feeling like I am cheating when I meet up with other men, HE doesn't make me feel that way...it's something entirely from myself...
he has my heart...not a single other person can compare...and before anyone says "you haven't even seen him face to face!"
a connection is a connection...I could care less if he was 50 years old, balding and 500 pounds...he's wonderful...
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (14 July 2007):
 Well i dont think that it is healthy to have a relationship with someone that you cant see and give up others that may pass you by. i think its ok to be friends with him but if he is not giving to you wat you need then you should try and get out there and meet new people. he lives so far away and while it would work if you were both in the same place, you not and you shouldnt live like that. i think that you should tell him that you love him and enjoy talking to him, but that you need to be with someone who wants the same things as you and is open to love and a proper relationship.
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A
female
reader, justice_123 +, writes (14 July 2007):
look youre not cheating because you dont know if this guy is everything he say he is you need to find you a guy you can see all the time so hoit the club scene with your girls and see what you can find and drop this nz guy my friend told me bout him last week no lie im tellin you she said they had phone sex 2 days ago and she told him to call her and he didnt and when she called him he changed his number!
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A
male
reader, JonHD +, writes (14 July 2007):
 The love shared over long distances is always the sweetest no? From my opinon and speaking as someone who himself has gone through that sort of relationship it seems to me he does in fact care for you but is trying to play 'hard to get' to see how willing you are to chase after him. This could be a problem since he could just be enjoying the attention you are giving him, but if his taking the time out to write poetrey and letters then thats a usual sign he cares for you. My advice would be to see if you can get him to start doing some chasing, toy with him a little bit, act abit distant but tease him. Say he wants phone sex, turn him really on so his craving it then say 'Just remembered i got to go' or 'Actually im not in mood' and put phone down, and if he starts chasing after you more you know he cares if he dousnt then his just enjoying the attentionHope it helpedJon
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