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female
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*reamer66
writes: HelpThis is my first time posting. I need help, I just don't know what to do anymore. Here it goes. I have been with my boyfriend for years and he proposed to me when I was pregnant with our daughter who is 5 now (engaged 5 years and been together for 1.5 years total of 6.5). He had no ring to give and I still don't have a ring. I am a stay home mom and have a part-time job. He is a wonderful father but it is an expense. He never takes me out. We have talked about everything and I am getting sick of not getting anywhere. (I feel he tells me stuff just to pacify me). He always says we're going to have to get married but it never goes anywhere. I feel stuck. He is emotionally unavailable. I clean, cook, take care of our daughter, take care of the animals (he does help). But I feel it is my responable to cook and clean and do all the errands because I stay home. I feel stressed out and depressed. What should I do? I love him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): i sold my home and moved to another state with a man who said he wanted to marry me guess what (no ring) cheap fast food places, lets his family bug me for favors and he is never there to help-watches sports and last 1 minute in bed. i think hes a bum and hes made me his bummet. you are stuck with mr nowhere- make a secret plan for your self and find a better place to be in- dont be stupid like i was
A
male
reader, juttandmeff  +, writes (25 February 2006):
If he's a good partner and a good father, and your relationship is secure as it is, I have difficulty seeing what the point of an ultimatum is. I guess from what you write that you live together as man and wife, and so if you start laying down ultimatums, what's the 'or else' going to be? No sex? He has to move out? How important is the wedding compared to the relationship, and are you prepared to end it if he drags his feet further? I'd say that if you are emotionally committed to each other, consider carefully whether marriage is an issue worth ending what you have over: millions of couples co-habit for their entire lives without the piece of paper.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (25 February 2006):
 Seems like you have allowed this to happen, he is walking all over you and you are letting him as you feel it is your place to do everything and put up with going nowhere, well nowhere is were your relationship is headed if you do not get a grip and start giving out ultimatums.
Tell him you want to get married and you want to set a date for this, tell him you want him to help out with chores and tell him which ones you want him to do, tell him you have a baby sitter and you will be going out on the weekend prefferably with him but if he does not want to come then you will go without him (take mum, friend anyone)
Get over this idea that you are a stay at home mum, you go to work so you dont stay at home, you earn money for the house and so should have a say in what you do with it and if you choose a meal out etc then so be it.
Looking after home and children is hard work and maybe he should experience some of this, he needs to do some childcare.
Sort it out, dont just take it.
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