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He talked of marriage and children, and I took him back. Now he has walked out again!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 May 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 May 2011)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

my boyfriend broke up with me again for the second time. he came back to me after 8 months of being with someone else promising all of these things, telling me it was the worst 8 months of his life and he's lost me once he never will again. that he can't wait to make me his wife, live together, have children together. and yet one drunken night when we had a massive fight...i told him i regretted giving him a second chance. HELP ME PLEASE!! im desperate. im so in love with this guy it's gonna kill me. seriously!! i just need help guys :( no matter what, he's been horrible and treated me bad...well everyone's told me i deserve better....5years later, 7months later, i still know that im gonna take him back. just don't know why he didn't give me a second chance. it would mean the absolute world to me for everyone's opinions and help or ideas about what i might be able to do :( and don't say ignore him because...i've already stuffed that one up i haven't stopped messaging him. i made him my everything and i just want some peoples advice. it means soo much that you read this!! any comments are greatly appreciated. thanks so much!! x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

aw thanks heaps guys!! yeah well i have what you call....the lowest self esteem, so basically i think he's worth more to me then i think i am.

i have anxiety and have had depression, so that didn't help our relationship as well, so it was tough, but he used to fight for me and now he tells me to leave him alone.

i don't know how to think positive about myself, apparently i'm good at helping my friends through their things.

I just don't take my own advice. i don't know what to do :(

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (19 May 2011):

Honeypie agony auntEvery time things get tough he walks out? Seems like you are wasting your time with him. I think he likes/loves the IDEA of the relationhip, but not the actual relationship.

Time to move on, honey.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011):

Sometimes just letting things be, and letting people go, even temporarily, helps in winning that person back. By blowing up his phone and losing control and acting desperate and devastated may just backfire on you and push him away more. You gotta put things in perspective, it is not the end of the world. It is not even the end of the day. Your world is not going to shatter or end because he hasn't returned your call. So stop acting like it is.

You have alot more control of your emotions than you give yourself credit for. What is more important, him or you? Of course you are. Nurture yourself and stop torturing yourself. Just relax, listen to some music, pop a bottle a wine. Whatever it takes for you to calm down. And remember that alot of people have it so much worse.

Like Paul McCartney famously said, "let it be." Things happen to people, good things come to people who don't rush or force the outcome. You are the most important person in the world to you. So treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. When you are acting like an unnerved train wreck, people will treat you like an unnerved train wreck. You are acting like you have no self worth or any respect for yourself. And then you are not going to get the respect that you deserve and that you want from others. When you act calm, rational, elegantly, people will treat you that way. And when you value yourself you are less likely to fall prey to douche-bags because you have self worth.

Focus on you and you will get all your prayers answered and more.

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