A
female
age
30-35,
*nonymous54321
writes:Dear Cupid,Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year and a half. Anyone can plainly see that were madly in love with each other. In the beginning there were problems with him being faithful and he "talked dirty" with another girl and sent nudes to each other. The first six months on dealing with that were very hard, but we worked through it and I gained his trust back (for the most part). Although we have a great relationship, I still get a little worried cause his friend are mostly girls. But the issue now, is that he has issues with pornography and I guess perversion. He knows he has a porn addiction and he hasn't watched it for the past six months or so but he last week or so he's gotten back into it. He promised me he wouldn't and he didn't want to because it makes him Feel unfaithful when he watches it or masturbates. Yesterday I found four bookmarked pages and some creepy pictures that he took of this girls butt because her thong was sticking out. He said that doing that stuff makes him feel like a creep and unfaithful. I agree, seeing those pictures made me think he was kinda of a perv. I have no idea what to do. I'm not sure if I should stay with him. I want to help him no matter what but idk if I can take the constant lying about what he's doing. (I've always told him he can tell me when he does stuff like that or gets the urge to) he's made so many promises to me and I know he'd never be with another girl again like before and that I trust I know he loves me. But he just has this problem I don't know how to help him or if it's worth being with him when he does have this problem to work out. I just don't know what to do. (he's asked me to make him a promise bracelet because we make eachother bracelets win different meanings) he says it will me a constant reminder of what he doesn't want to become and what he doesn't want to be to me. What if his isn't enough. And what if he can't stop?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): Honestly, porn addiction is like other addictions and i think he needs help outside of your help. It is great for you to support him and i have much respect for you because you are fighting his demons with him! I watched a show one time about porn addiction and it can be pretty serious. The show even talked about written contracts between the couples and how it can be helpful. Look up that website and do some research to prepare yourself. Sounds like the both of you are on the right track!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): Porn/sex addiction is a very misunderstood affliction. This is an addiction to chemicals produced by one's own brain when stimulated sexually. Porn is like the needle to the heroin addict. It sounds like your boyfriend is truly giving it his all. He has admitted to having a problem with it and has tried abstinence with some success. I think what he really needs is some support from other people with this type of experience. There is a web based support group at npsupport.net There is also a board on this site for the wives and girlfriends. Check it out, it will clear up some of the misconceptions regarding p addiction and give your boyfriend some sound advice and support.Good luck to the two of you, and bless you for supporting him.
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A
male
reader, quarky  +, writes (6 July 2009):
 Probably contrary to most of the answers you'll get but I think he just needs to grow up and get his priorities right. If he truly loves you, he'll stop hurting you with this. In my opinion, you should take a hard line on this-ok don't threaten to leave him, but don't give in to his so called addiction. If you do, it will only continue. Make sure he knows how you feel and that it could lead to him losing you if he doesn't get a grip.
This is a common issue-try searching this site for similar issues and answers.
Just my thoughts on it having seen it happen within my family.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous54321 +, writes (6 July 2009):
Anonymous54321 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do not! want to breakup with him. He is the love of my life. I just have no idea how to help him. I want to make things better for him and so I can trust him. And he wants to fix things so he doesn't deep so crappy about himself for making it so I can't trust him.
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A
female
reader, Pandora Sorrows +, writes (6 July 2009):
 If you do finish with him, because he watches porn, its not going to stop his problem. I suggest getting him into some sort of therapy, because even he has admitted to being addicted to porn. Watching porn isn't a bad thing, and doesn't mean hes not attracted to you or he doesn't love you. The best thing you can do is support him, even if it means disconnecting the internet after certain times. Also try different things in the bedroom because maybe he likes the idea of doing different things under the sheets.
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