A
female
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*arefootrat
writes:So this guy (he's 30, I'm 21) and I made out three times before he said he doesn't date white girls. I eventually got over it and we're still friends--after a few weeks of major awkwardness. Last night we were out running errands together and then went over to a friend's to watch a movie. He was acting interested in me and touched me more. On the drive back to his place, he said something about being stupid and making dumb decisions previously (I was a little drunk) and it sounded like he was apologizing for stopping whatever we were getting into earlier. He asked me if wanted to go in to his place. I said no because he would just make me cry again. And he said no, he didn't think he would. So I spent the night with him, no sex, but lots of kissing and playing around. I swear he held me the whole night. What's going on? Am I just going to get hurt again? I really like this boy. He's sweet and (generally) kind and really listens. But is he just using me? Or do you think he's changed his mind?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2006): Umm, has he asked you out for a proper date? It doesn't sound like it, what are you doing spending the night with him? It sounds to me like you are trying to worm your way into a relationship with this fellow by just being available when he is around and available to have sex with you....he is going to think you are desperate.
This is no way to develop a relationship, maybe you were wanting to let him know you are interested in him, he gets it now, back off and see if he pursues you....if he does not you will have your answer, he is just not into you. Be his friend first and let the relationship blossom if it will, anyting else is just silly.
Men want what they have to work at to get, trust me, don't throw yourself at this guy if you want things to go further, but frankly I an not sure why you would want it to, you don't say anything about how he great he is and how your relationship is flourishing on a friehdship level, it seems it is all superficial and about sex...
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