A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, im hoping you could help me out here. Let me begin by giving you a little background info...but before i do theres something you must know. The guy im talking about is in NO WAY a player or anything, be is one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet, not awesomely confident, the majority of the time he is but sometimes he can be quite lively and others really quiet depending on who hes with, is a very nice, friendly n funny person!Anyway i met him through being in the same class and we started off as friends and he seemed to like me. I noticed alot he used to stare at me ALOT and just the atmosphere when he was around me. Other people have noticed it as well so it was defo there! However shortly after this i heard what im 98% sure was him tell someone he liked me because after that i noticed people were looking at us differently and saying stuff however this one girl whos known im ages and didnt like the idea started saying stuff about me and turned people against me, so it was hard for us every to be friends however all that got sorted. He also liked someone else but she was like mega flirty with him and stuff(im quite a shy person) and so he attempted to go for it but she just used him. Anyway we've had our ups and down but became very good friends. The only thing was that on msn and things he would never talk to me first without a reason unless we;d been out that night and he came on when we got back, it was always me to start it. ometimes he spoke to me normally othertimes he seeme like he didnt know what to say. (one of his mates also added me on the internet)But my problem is this past 3 months have been great we left college and so ive only seen him away from the others...hes occasionally been flirty with me, when ive spoken to him hes spoke back more etc and he was even play fighting with me when we;ve been out te last few times and he was going on about stuff and we saw this guy that we both know on a previous night out....and he said to me that this guy thinks there was summat going on between us and i thought hed never normally tell me that or even talk aout rhe subject and my mate said maybe thats his way of trying to tell you something. Its just everything was great.....and this past week he seems to be ignoring me im not totally sure why i will talk to him about it soon i would just like your opinion because its hard for me as it is....im not the most confident girl with him and i want us to be goo friends more than anything in the world. i truely love this guy have done for ages so please dont tell me to forget about him because i care about him to much and people keep saying tat and its just making me worse what i really need is your opinion as to why this is happenig because im so confused and need to know if im thinking to much into it or what. People say he still likes me but surely he wouldda told me by now if he had as he knows i like him-he found out about a year ago. But please just give me your opinion! thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (10 October 2009):
 There are probably at least two explanations for his behaviour. Firstly, he still likes you but he is too scared of asking for a date in case he is rejected. He is ignoring you because he doesn't think he is getting anywhere fast and is trying to distance himself from you. Secondly, he liked you at one point but he is a young man and his attention span is limited (i.e. his eyes have wandered onto his next object of lust). I think no matter how lacking in confidence boys and men are there is a certainty that you can always rely upon...if they are that into you, they let you know and take action. I dated quite a few of the male species before I met my husband and what I have discovered from those years was the difference in experience. By this I mean the other men were enthusiastic to begin with or just not-that-bothered and then it just didn't work out as I expected to be treated nicely. With my now-husband, he was phoning a lot and knocking on my door enough to make it clear he was interested and enthusiastic. He still is fortunately! My point to you is that you should go with your instincts on this person that you like - don't ask for friend's opinions but go with what you feel. If you really like him just ask him on a date and see his reaction. If you are not sure, leave him alone and the friendship will probably just fade away naturally.
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