A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for a month and he still hasn't given me an orgasm. After a couple of weeks I brought it up and he got kind of offended. He then talked about how he didn't want our relationship to be about sex. I told him 'no it isn't about sex, but I feel that both parties should be satisfied. I kind of felt bad for bringing it up at the time because I wasn't sure if it just kind of happened that way or if he wasn't being attentive to my needs.Anyways the following time we were intimate I had my period so I didn't expect him to venture down there (but he did receive a bj from me). So the next time he did seem to focus more on fore play and we had great sex, but no orgasm for me. Then as he is cuddling up for sleep and I am of course still frisky he accuses me of being too horny and having too much of a drive. I am not sure if he was joking, saying it because he is insecure, or because he really meant it. I am actually really pretty easy to get to climax during foreplay, so it is really frustrating to me that it seems like more of a lack of effort on his part. I wasn't really that disappointing I didn't orgasm because I enjoyed fooling around so much, but when he was in his post sex sleepy bliss I was still raring for more.I want to bring it up but I don't want to offend him, especially if he is feeling insecure. Thoughts?
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foreplay, horny, insecure, orgasm, period Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Helpful_In_Ohio +, writes (14 March 2009):
 Him getting a little bit mad is better than you going without an orgasm for years right ? You do need to address it but in a non threatening sort of way. ( not saying you are doing it in a threatening way ). Say things like You know what i really like I like when you ( insert raunchy sexual item here) but do it in a real calm sexy voice so that not only are you talking but its turning him on at the same time and maybe just maybe he will get so turned on that he will want to do what you just talked about right away . If you Plant that seed in the right place and at the right time i assure you it will all work in your favor .Just giving you a guys point of view is all I am very sexual when i get into its getting into it that i tend to hurry things up and not think about the female partner But I am all better now about that Its all about hr before me. Hope this helps Good luck !
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (14 March 2009):
Rather than talking to him about it, take the lead in this situation.
If he stops the foreplay and tries to go inside you then just say "not yet" in a sexy voice and take his hand and show him what to do.
He sounds like he's just a bit clueless so you may have to teach him what gets you going.
Either that or give him a BJ as part of foreplay and then lie back and say "my turn" and gently push his head southwards till he gets the idea.
Good Luck!! xx
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