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He started talking to other women while I was giving him the silent treatment to make him realize some things!

Tagged as: Cheating, Family, Online dating, Pregnancy, Social Media, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 September 2019) 3 Answers - (Newest, 27 November 2019)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

How can a husband dare to find a woman online joining different dating sites and talking to them women. And even send money to the women. When I found out this one early morning It breaks my heart into tiny pieces.Cos I never thought and I never ever had a second thought of him doing this to me. Cos far I know he loves me that much.... Its just so happen that we were not in good term for maybe 4 months I don't feel like talking to him because of one reason that he cant understand my point. Which is spending a lil time with my baby. He keeps on promising that he will change and spend time with our baby and that its a same old story, He seem to enjoy with his phone listening to music... And when I found out that he has been talking to women online his reason was .. its because of me not to talking to him. What do yall think about this? Is this enough reason to cheat on me? I didn't talk to him for a while cos I just want him to realize things.

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A female reader, rosecuna South Africa +, writes (27 November 2019):

It proves ur man shldnt be trsted just start a life away from him

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (9 November 2019):

Dionee' agony auntThe whole silent treatment thing hardly ever works in one's favour which is why I suggest communicating instead of the whole silent treatment option mostly because expecting someone to telepathically know what you're thinking and feeling when giving the silent treatment, and waiting for them to have a light bulb moment, does the absolute opposite and gives them ample time to grow tired of your acting up and do something else with that quiet time instead. That's what's happened here.

If someone doesn't respect what you're communicating to them, then they don't respect your opinion. More so than that, if you have to keep bringing up the same thing over and over again, it's time to make a decision on your part. Whether or not you feel respected and loved enough to stay. He's probably extremely tired of this whole situation and wants to be his own person and make some fun bad decisions. You ignoring him, made it easier for him to do what he wanted without being nagged. He probably doesn't want this anymore. He probably isn't spending time with the baby because he doesn't want to. Anyone that has to be begged to spend time with their own kid, doesn't view it as a priority and probably feels as though they'd rather spend their time elsewhere.

Perhaps this is where you should decide what you want. Decide how much you can take or want to take and decide how long you want to be unhappy. The ball is in your court right now.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2019):

Well, passive-aggressive behavior like the silent-treatment might at best be annoying or frustrating; but it's ineffective, and a true indication that you lack communication-skills. Going silent is easy, it requires no tact or compromise. It's only meant to irritate or cause anxiety. What good is that?

Your husband is being quite condescending to you, by trivializing his cheating as simply because you won't talk to him. When men talk to women like that, they have zero respect for them; and fear no consequences for their behavior. He feels comfortable in knowing you are financially-dependent, unlikely to leave him, and flexes his male-power knowing he's stronger than you are physically. Thumbing his nose, because he thinks all you can do is cry, plead, and complain. You're essentially helpless!

You don't talk to him because you want him to realize things??? He's talking to women online and subscribes to online dating-services. I think he realizes what he's doing quite well! He just doesn't give a rat's patootie; because he feels totally unchallenged, and that you're at his mercy. It is unlikely that all he's doing is just talking to other women. You can't be that naive!

Perhaps you are somewhat naive, and idolize your husband as being perfect. He apparently isn't too worried about being caught, responding with such a smug and lame excuse. He doesn't seem interested in marriage, or his baby.

I guess you've got a big decision to make. It seems he doesn't want to be a father or a husband anymore; and he's waiting for you to be the one to consider a divorce.

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