A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 21, my b/f's 27.I was told that my boyfriend spent £4,000 on going to see a male stripper called "Rogue"... and on going to see male strippers in general!I confronted him about it - but he said I should "take a chill pill" - and said "don't be so f***ing silly, girl!"He said he isn't gay, and there's nothing wrong with it!! he also said it's just a bit of fun.... but i dont feel that way!btw he does spend money exorbitantly - he spent $500 on a huge birthday cake for my 21st!Don't things like this damage peoples relationships?how should I deal with this??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (13 May 2007):
 His answers are all very defensive, maybe showing his inability to come to terms with what he doing..You need to explain to him how it look on your side of the fence and how this is affecting the relationship for you.
To spend that amount of money on a male stripper shows the level of interest he is willing to put into this fantasy/idea. if he is gay, than he needs to be honest to you about it and stop hiding within the relationship and using it as a mask.
It sounds like he is using the money to buy his way out of things. That is not going to last. Confront him about this and if he gets abusive again without being truthful to your questions I would question where you stand in the relationship.
R
A
female
reader, loretta +, writes (13 May 2007):
 I think u need to av serious talks wit ur fella coz am not being funny but i reckon if i was in ur shoes i wud feel the same as u r feeling!!! u need to ask the both ov u, 'is this relationship goin any were?' if u really think that he is gay u need to sit him down n explain why u feel this way. some guys try hiding it from the world coz they feel ashamed n most men do it by hiding in a relationship. Maybe his not gay, maybe his just exploring different things, but even so, he should talk to you. he should'nt feel like he has to buy u, talk to him bout it, money carn't buy love!!! good luck x x x
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (13 May 2007):
 tell him straight, a. you dont want him seeing male strippers - unless its a one off, b. spend less money on the strippers or other men and maybe save it up or spend it on you, if he starts calling you them names again tel lhim to f*ck off and tell him its realy affecting you, make him understand you may not be able to deal with much more. hope i helped, mail me if u wan 2 talk x x x
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