A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My bf/father of my baby and I are are currently in a LDR. He is working a lot trying to get back on his feet so we can get a place together and be a family again. I've been very supportive bc he says he wants to go back to school so i don't push for child support but he blows money on stupid stuff when he should be saving it. Last night he told me he was going to some club to see a dj and didn't really want to go but already paid his friend $20 for the ticket. I said I thought he should be more responsible with his money (but in all honesty I was more disappointed that he's 32 and would still agree to go to something like that). He thought I was overreacting since it's only $20 but I told him $20 here and there adds up. He got angry and ended the conversation and now he won't answer my calls. I think it's really disrespectful that he won't even talk to me now, what do you think? Do I have a reason to be upset should I just let him cool down and talk about it when he finally calls me back?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2014): I spent $75 on a replica batarang
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2014): He is stringing you along, he doesnt seem to want a relationship with you. He might like seeing you for sex and also he gets you off his back for child support because he is supposedly working hard so you can be a family again. Why did you break apart the first time? I sense that not all is right here. He should be supporting his child all the time, not making pathetic excuses. You say he blows his money on stupid things, so this isnt a one off. You need to file for child support NOW as something tells me that he is making excuses to shirk his responsibility
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 October 2014):
 $20 is two packages of diapers. Which in turn "might" be enough diapers for a newborn to last 1 week (maybe a little less).
So for him to say.. it's not a lot.. shows JUST how little he knows about the cost of a child.
With that said, if this is a ONE time only, I think you are overreacting a little. Instead of ACTING like HIS mom too, maybe point out that $20 can mean diapers or food for HIS son/daughter.
I would back off. NOT because he is right, but because it's not getting the two of you anywhere to fight over $20. IT's an indicator of how different you two see things. You two are on VERY different pages. But I would also prepare myself mentally for being a solo parent. Because I'm not sure he is taking fatherhood serious. If he is working a lot, and sending absolutely NO money to you for HIS child, I'm not sure he will at all.
YOU didn't have this child by yourself, he SURE helped MAKe the child, so why can't HE help you out? WHY is it 100% your responsibility to not only RAISE the child, but also the financial side too? So HE can make a better future.. you think that is for the family? If so.... why didn't this get done BEFORE having a baby?
I mean, has he given you a plan or a timeline for how this relationship and so forth will proceed? Does he think you two will be living together in a year? 6 months? what?
You are BOTH old enough to figure this out.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2014): "I think it's really disrespectful that he won't even talk to me now, what do you think?"I think you've chosen an selfish, immature, irresponsible jerk as a sperm donor and so now you're now facing the unfortunate but very likely reality that you're going to be stuck raising your child on your own with little if any help from your useless, deadbeat, absentee baby daddy. "Do I have a reason to be upset should I just let him cool down and talk about it when he finally calls me back?"You have reason to be upset but if you think he's going to be willing to talk about it then you are kidding yourself. He's waiting for this to blow over before he calls so he can avoid you holding him accountable for his actions. He is who he is and if somehow though that becoming a father would magically change him then you are sadly mistaken. It is your legal and moral obligation as a mother to ensure that sperm donor fulfills his legal and moral obligation to support his child to the fullest extent of his ability to pay, and given his ongoing financial irresponsibility the only way to do that is by obtaining an order of child support.
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