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He spends all his time at his friend's house who happens to have a wife!

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 January 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 11 January 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I have recently moved in together to a city which is 30 minutes away from my friends and family. His best friend, however, lives less than five minutes from us which makes it easy for him to go hang out whenever he'd like. To top it all off, I currently have almost a 2 hour commute each way to my work which leaves me completely exhausted and lacking any energy to take the time to get together with my own friends and family.

It does make me a bit bitter that his friend lives so close by, but I have learned to deal with it. The tipping point, however, come this past Saturday night when I was extremely sick and unable to get out of bed the entire day. My boyfriend decided to go out to his friends house and leave me at home alone and unable to take care of myself. I'm not one for dramatization, but I have just only been able to get out of bed this afternoon, and I completely flipped out on him. He goes there at least every other night (we spend maybe 2 nights a week alone together; and even if he is home on another night, his friends or brother will be over) and I didn't think it was too much to expect him to stay home and help me out when I needed it. Now tonight, I am feeling a bit better, but he's headed out to go over there again.

It's just beginning to seem as if being with his best friend (who is married and lives with his wife) is more important than being with me, especially when I need him to.

Do you think I am overreacting? Or do you think I have a valid reason for being upset?

View related questions: best friend, moved in

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you both for your responses. It is good to hear that I have not made a big deal out of nothing, especially from two men. I typically brush things off, but not this time. So thanks again.

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A male reader, Illithid United States +, writes (11 January 2011):

Illithid agony auntFriends are important, but you're his girlfriend, not his roommate. He needs to put some effort into the relationship while there's one to save. He sounds like he still thinks he's in the college dorm.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011):

Yes, you have a valid right to be upset.

He is forgetting where his priorities should be.

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