| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My 30 yr. old boyfriend just built one of those interactive webpages were you can meet new people and add them to your list of 'friends'. Like everything he does and likes he has become kind of addicted to it, adding his pictures to the page (me included) adding old friends and girls he is meeting through this free service. He checked himself as 'single' and not as 'in a relationship' like the webpage provided, that made me go Hmm.. He constantly asks me to build my own web page so I would get hit on by men (???) I believe this is because he feels guilty for something. He says the main purpose of the webpage is for marketing reasons since he's self employed and most of his customers are friends. It caught my attention that he always uses the same password I came up with for him two years ago for everything he does on the web, but with this webpage is different and that's a little strange. I work with him and sometimes I have to check his emails. The other day I found an email about his account on a website about friends. I checked but didn't pay much attention to it. I brought it to his attention over the phone and he didn't deny it or anything just laughed briefly and I didn't gave it too much thought. Later I found out it is a dating service in wich he has only his picture, says what he does for living briefly and says he is a good friend. But he is not checked in as looking for friends only but as looking for dating, friends or relationship. I confronted him today over the phone (we live 10 mins. away and he hasn't seen me in a week) and he didn't know what to say and that's not common in him, usually he knows what to say to defend himself. I guess I caught him off guard. He just said after a long time that he wasn't looking for anybody for sex. Two other things: I went today to his office while he wasn't there and checked on his computer history and there was a lot of porn. But I know he is addicted to it. Although I don't like it he has been sincere with me about this. The thing that shocked me the most was that he was checking out local adds of swingers. I mean very local. Also I found that he was cheking out married women seeking men for dating and relationships. Isn't he an idiot? I was the one who told him less than a week ago that some men prefer to have affairs with married women because these women are obligated to maintain strict confidentiality for their own good. I told him that he fitted the description of a man who's not in love according to something I have just read in the web and he didn't say a thing. Also, we have been going on for two yrs. but since we are having sex (only for 6 months) he has stopped taking me out like he used to. He almost just wants sex. And sometimes we talk about different the people we know, the business and other things but in general the relationship has changed and not for better. Other than these he hasn't given me any indication in the world for me to doubt him. He has been hanging out a lot with older very experimented men (clients, friends and his uncle) I believe they have poisoned his mind and now he wants to experiment for himself. I think he is flirting with the idea of cheating. Am I right?
View related questions:
affair, flirt, I work with, porn, swinging Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Bonzaman  +, writes (29 January 2008):
Hi, I'm a bloke and I believe he unfortunately is not in love with you anymore. The porn is not the issue but, as you know, the dating sites are not good. He is not happy so he is getting satisfaction from looking at the sites and having fantasies about meeting up with someone, eventually, if he hasn't already, he will meet up with someone. Love is not about what you do or don't do, it's about who you are and having someone who loves who you are, love has room for two people only.
A
female
reader, elsie  +, writes (14 May 2007):
 oh dear,i think hes getting a big thrill out of flirting with the idea of cheating.the fact that you said he becomes addicted to doing things hes interested in sounds like he has an addiction problem allround.i think you need to let go.sounds like all the fun has gone out of it and your just waiting for that final kick in the teeth.hes joined a dating service for the reason they exist to date other women and no other reason.he doesnt even care enough to respond to you when you say he not in love with you.he really is flying in your face with disrespect.no one gets poisoned unless there vunerable to it.unless there a chink in the armour why would these guys get through to him.seriously think what has he got to offer you?what has he done for you?how does he make you feel?everyone gets a bit lazy and settles into a pattern in relationships but when you have things spelt out so clearly to you its really time to move on.hope you find happiness.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (14 May 2007):
 All the signs are there. This isn't the behavior of someone who is happy in their relationship. I think you'd best start looking at the big picture here. Have a nice long chat and if you can't resolve all theses issues I'd walk.
...............................
|
