A
male
age
41-50,
*alf2000
writes: So i have been dating my gf for about 6 9 months and it's all going great except for the fact she sometimes talks to her ex's.. she doesn't call them they call her but she is to nice not to pick up.. the one that really upsets me and i don't want her to talk to is one that she dated in high school and they had a sex tape.. well he showed it to his buddies and then later it was shown at a party... she says she didn't talk to him for five years after that and then in only that last couples years has she become friends with him... so i would like her to cut her ties with him... because i don't think that it's excusable and she should ever forgive him,, what does anyone think..
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female
reader, sexi  +, writes (26 July 2007):
 Hi,Tell her to stop contct with her ex's because it is causing problems on your'lls relationship.There is no reason to have any contact with them that the reason they are called ex's. If she loves yo enough then she would do anything to make you happy and stop all contact with her ex's. I don't think that she would like it if you were speaking to girls from your past.
Speak to her and tell her how you feel.
Good Luck, Let me know what has happened.
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (26 July 2007):
 If it were me, I would get him to sign an affidavit stating that the cassette had been destroyed, etc... and that if any copies still lurk he will become liable for them in some way. A lawyer could word it better than I. If he refuses, you KNOW something is up.
Once that is done, again, if it were me, I would have demanded that friendship stop. He sabotaged her once, and there is no reason why he would not do it again to her and your relationship with her.
-FBK
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A
male
reader, malf2000 +, writes (26 July 2007):
malf2000 is verified as being by the original poster of the question
the tape was destroyed supposedly he says... which was about 7 years ago.. we are planning on getting married and have been looking at engagement rings and places to get married.... i just don't feel someone whom showed such a lack of respect to her should be allowed to be in her life... In other circumstances i would never tell her whom she can and can't be friends with but being her future husband I feel different in this situation.. I wouldn't tell her she "can't" be friends with him cause i would never do that. but i want to tell her how it makes me feel and knowing her she will understand. And would it make me feel better that she drops him as a friend? yes it would...
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (25 July 2007):
I think that her first priority is to get the tape back, and all copies. If that asshole doesn't hand it over to her, then it means he is still doing it.
Although you can not tell her who to be friends with, unless you plan to marry her (that would make it different), I think you are justified in wanting her to cut contact.
Get that tape back, and see a legal aid lawyer about a cease and decist letter...he is violating her privacy, and possibly causing damage to her reputation with it.
-FBK
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A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (25 July 2007):
 I think if she can get over it and forgive, then so should you.
She is only talking to them and she obviously tells you about it so i would not worry.
Take care.xx.
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