A
female
age
30-35,
*issSamanthamary
writes:my boyfriend and i have a long history, we;ve been together for a year but we were best firends for 2 years before he asked me out , i recently foung out he had been messageing other women on a site called my year book , i found it on his computer , when i read what was being said i nearly threw up , not nesicarily becuase of what it said mostly because he lied to me , he would tell me he was going to sleep or playing a game or something and then i find out hes doing this , the seconed i found out i left his house and started walking home , he came running out after me and we got in a huge fight , i eventually walked my ass home balling the whole way , we ended up takeing a break for about a week and were back together now , im just not sure if i made the right choice , i love this man to death and i went throught hell and back just to get him to ask me out , i love him with all my heart but im sick of the lies? any sugestions on what to do ? any imput on this situation ? it feels like he shattered my heart then stepped on it and let it get washed away by the rain ,P.s none of the girls he was messageing even knew he was dating me , as well i cheecked his browsing history and discoved he was watching porn on a regular basis , i dont even no how he has the will power to do that because we have sex like 4 times a day ... i need opinions?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): Hello. You probably have sex 4 times a day....because hes watching porn! Watching that stuff can really crank up a guys sex drive. If hes becoming a slave to sex maybe ask him to cut back on the amount of porn hes watching. Im not a great fan of that stuff. It does seem to sexually over stimulate some people and blur their moral boundries. Some will tell you its ok, all young guys watch porn. But ive noticed either a guys in to that sort of thing or he isnt. And age doesnt really come into it. The same guy that watches it at 16 will still be watching it at 60 if thats his `thing`. So be prepared. It might well be something he always enjoys. So either you will have to put up with it or join in.
As for lying to you. Thats not good and never will be. Again lying is something people do or dont do. I lived with someone a few years ago who also lied about what he was doing in his spare time. He was online connecting with other women while i was at work. Your guys getting busy online behind your back, connecting with other women and thats wrong. And there must be a reason hes not mentioned to any of them that hes in a relationship with you. Its not a good sign.
Overall, I imagine like you, he is young. And sometimes if you meet when you are really young, your personalities arent fully developed. As time goes on you start to see the adult not the kid anymore. Thats when a lot of early relationships end. You may find as time passes that hes not quite right for you anymore. You have to accept that could happen. You say you went through hell to get him to date you. That could mean you have stronger feelings for him than he has for you. So do bare that in mind too.
For now, ask him to take a break. Not from you but from the computer as that seems to be his downfall. Its so easy to be tempted to do things online that we wouldnt do in the `real` world. Most of us wouldnt go out and buy sex dvds or cheat in `real` life. But its so easy to do all that online and thats where alot of problems occur. So ask him to take a break from the computer, get his head straight about what he wants for you two. And then maybe start using a computer again when hes mature enough to handle the temptations. All the best.
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