A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 14, a year ago my boy friend sexualy abused me, he didnt have sex with me, he stalked me. sent me texts, asking me to do things, asking me to send pictures, he even sent me porn...of him. It was a monday and i had chemistry, he cornered me into one of the benches once everyone had left and touched me...i have told my councillor and he has been told to stay away from me but im finding it hard to get over him. Sounds insane i know but everytime hes in the room i get panic attacks and i dont sleep anymore because he haunts my dreams. Im so jumpy now i cant go near any guy who is taller than me without being scared...how do i get this guy out of my head?????
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, candy00s +, writes (29 May 2007):
 Im always here if you want to talk to me, send me a private msg if you need me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou guys, i guess i just needed to hear it wasnt my fault, it gave me so much strength to hear you are all behind me ... i love you all :D xxx
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A
female
reader, candy00s +, writes (29 May 2007):
Well done for having the courage to talk about this.
I think that you need to tell you parents about this (if they dont already know), dont let the matter drop find the strength to deal with this.
He has wrecked you confidence but i am sure you can come out of this a stronger person.
He could do this again to some other innocent girl - he might have done it before even.
It was sexual assault so have you thought about involving the police?
Hope this will help you in some way, take care
xxx
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (29 May 2007):
 kai babe in order to calm your self down, concentrate on ur breathing.. tell your councellor, tell every person you trust and can talk to, and tell them you dont want im to be in the same room as you AT ALL, if its lads that bother you, try stay on the other side of the classroom, or away by yourself or with some friends. Seeing a councellor will help, it helped me, just realy need some time to not 'get over' it but to push it to the back of your mind. i was raped at just 12 and the rapist has never been caught, he still haunts me when i sleep and i am now doing my GCSEs and i have been talking sleeping tablets at night and i have been on a course of antidepressants, maybe a trip to ur doctor to see if he/she suggests you maybe have a sleeping tablet to calm you down and help you sleep. this may sound weird but driinking water at 'bedtime' realy does help stop havin nightmares. stay with your councellor and your life will get better. i hope i helped, mail me if u want to talk x x x
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A
female
reader, Mushgirl +, writes (29 May 2007):
 You have to remember that even though this guy is horrible, most aren't. There are so many really nice guys out there. Don't let this prick that you went out with stop you from being confident around other boys.
It sounds like you need a serious break from relationships; maybe you should try hanging around with people you know really well to get your confidence back. If your friends know, then maybe they can help you feel better when he's in the room.
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (29 May 2007):
 I am sorry to hear about your story.
You have done well by seeing a councillor that is a brave move for you to talk to someone about your ordeal. Its a shame that people in this world feel the need to force themselves on others, to be honest its disgusting and there is no excuse for it.
Your feelings are natural for someone in your position, its not insane that your feeling these things it is only human. I would return to your councillor and tel him/her how you are coping with this and your feelings at this time. He should be able to help you overcome your anxieties and fears over time. Proffesional people in that field should know what the effects of this abuse are and will know how to deal with it.
Your a brave girl and have plenty of determination and guts for getting where you are now and seeing someone about this, so use that strength to follow this through to its conclusion; otherwise there is a chance this feeling will grow with you and you will find it hard to trust anyone of the opposite sex again in the way you want to.
This can change who you are and what you become later in life and take away something in you that is precious.
Stay strong...
R
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (29 May 2007):
 I think you need to get some specialist counselling just to talk things through. Go and see your GP and s/he can arrange this for you. It is not unusual to feel this way after a traumatic episode. I was mugged and stabbed in the leg a few years ago and I found it difficult to walk past tall men for a while! I think your school's response to this incident has been quite poor. Telling him to stay away from you does not really address the fact that this young man sounds like he has deeply disturbed psychological problems that need intervention now rather than later when things may escalate to more serious sexual offences. I think you should tell your parents what has happened and they should approach the school to (i) ensure your safety and (ii) to insist that the school tell his parents what has been going on. From what you say, he sexually assaulted you on school premises and the school have a duty of care towards you (including reporting the incident to the police). It doesn't sound like they have met this duty of care and your parents should really speak up.
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