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female
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anonymous
writes: I used my credit card to rent a car for to go on a 6 hr trip that my boyfriend needed to do, work related. He asked me to rent it for one day and go with him. I did but now he is rushing us to go back because he does not want to pay for another day. I feel that we should stop to eat at a restaurant. I feel he is not considering my feelings and is only thinking of himself. I know that he is going to ask to ask me to get married next month-but sometimes I feel that I'm not sure about him. What do you think? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2005): If you're not sure, then you're not sure, and you definitely shouldn't get married on those terms.That said, I think you're overreacting about the car thing. It sounds to me like you and your boyfriend just have different personalities. I've seen it with lots of couples, and it's just a misunderstanding. I'm sure your bf just felt like, for a 6hr trip, there's no reason you can't just go to a restaurant after returning the car, and save the money of having to pay for an extra day. Honestly, if it were me, I'd do exactly the same thing.He told you ahead of time that he wanted to rent the car for one day, and that's what he's trying to follow through on. He's just being practical, as men often are --like how they're known to reason that flowers should be bought some day other than Valentine's day, since that is the day when they are so arbitrarily expensive. For someone whose way of thinking is more romantic, this sounds awful. It doesn't mean he loves you any less, though, and it's not necessarily something you should dislike. In reality, it's a good quality. Someone who is practical shows his love for you by thinking about the future. My advice is to let this one go. Your bf wanted to get the car back in time; I hope you were able to do that. Tell him you're sorry you took his practicality personally. Tell him you'd like it if he were sometimes more spontaneous and less constantly-annoyingly-pragmatic, and then agree that you'll work on accepting him as he is. Hopefully he'll also be happy to agree on working to surprise you more often and
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2005): The hand that feeds you needs you, the hand that takes you breaks you. I think you need to be with this person a lot longer till you are sure. You sort of sound like you may not appreciate this person or find it hard to understand why he was so selfish in his thinking. If he asks you to marry him, you need to wait, its the rest of your life. but you already knew that answer.
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A
female
reader, Ms Mebaby +, writes (26 November 2005):
Since you used YOUR credit card to pay for the rental car, it would seem to me that your boyfriend is actually being somewhat considerate of your financial situation by insisting that you get the vehicle back to avoid having to pay for another day.However, your indication that you are not sure about him leads me to believe that it would be wise of you to have a long engagement before you make a commitment of marriage. Use this time to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel and find out if you share the same priorities and interests. Relationships tend to go through boring stages, especially if you don't have common interests to keep the two of you entertained together.Good luck to you!
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