A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy through a mutual friend 2 weeks ago.The first time we arranged to meet up, he flaked on our plans. Basically, we arranged to meet up after 6 pm when he gets off work.I texted him earlier that day and said "hey" but he didn't respond. I thought he was still at work so I didn't think anything out of it. Then 6pm rolls around ,still no word from him. I texted him again asking if we are still on to no avail. Then he sent a text around 9pm and said "sorry something came up" .He texted me 2 days later apologizing profusely so I decided to give the benefit of the doubt . Last week he told me that he would like to see me sometime this coming up week and asked when I'm available. So on Monday I let him know that we can still meet up after work any day since we both work day shifts. Nevertheless ,he suggested Thursday or Saturday evening. I prefer to make solid plans rather than ambiguity therefor I suggested we set up to meet for Sat evening instead. He agreed and said sure,"I can't wait to see you" Ironically, he didn't return any of my text yesterday so I asked him if we're still on the next day(which is today) he didn't reply . This morning, I texted him again asking him to confirm if we are still on or not ,he responded few hours later and just said "LOL" That said, we had loose plans to hang out today after work and he hasn't confirm or cancel .Now I'm not even sure since it's been hours he left me hanging so I made other plans. However, I'm going to lose his number given he has demonstrated that he's unreliable which is a deal breaker to me. So my question is,are flaky guys just not that interested, or just bad at keeping plans?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 March 2016):
 Not that interested. There is the occasional exception of someone who is just bad at making plans and don't know how to tell the time, but they are the exception that confirms the rule. Besides, a truly aloof person wouldn't have replied with "lol" when you asked if you were still on, they would be asking "did we make plans?? sorry I forgot!"
Besides, I was in a relationship for 3 years with a flaky guy, who was genuinely aloof and forgot everything. And trust me, just because they forget without any intention of causing harm, doesn't mean its any more fun being stood up or left hanging. Or worse, having to always rearrange dates because he double booked, or having to no private dates because he always needs to bring his friends or family because he forgot he had agreed to meet them at the same time...
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 March 2016):
 Eww, stop wasting your time on this guy!
He is RUDE and a time waster. I'd just BLOCK and DELETE his number and If your mutual friend asks, just say you aren't interested in that guy.
Apologizing profusely doesn't mean he was sincere or that he is really interested.
Let the jerk go.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (27 March 2016):
 Let's not make this a sweeping generalization about guys, especially when you already know the answer.
This guy is just plain rude. So much so that he's quite comfortable leaving you guessing. Shyness is not an excuse. I was incredibly shy when I was young and would never have dreamed of treating someone this way.
Lose his number but don't be bitter about it. Since he's an acquaintance of a mutual friend you may cross paths with him in the future. If you do, be courteous but formal, the way you would be with a complete stranger.
It should go without saying, do not give him any more chances, regardless of his explanation or apologies or how much time has passed. You can forgive him and he can apply the lesson he learned with you to the next woman he wants to date. Have standards and stick to them.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (27 March 2016):
 It's not that he's bad at keeping plans or anything. He's just rude and is not that interested in you and is keeping you hanging.
Yes, lose the number and don't entertain him again, even if he pretends to apologize. This guy is certainly not worth it. Just forget him.
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