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female
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anonymous
writes: About six months ago I "met" a man who has actually been a part of the same young professionals group as I have for the last two and a half years. For the first two years he was no more than a face in the crowd. I didn't know him, did not find him attractive and basically had no interest in him at all. Last February we started chatting at a Happy Hour and not long after that were both part of a group overnight trip together. During that trip I started to develop an attraction for him and that attraction has grown with each encounter, including his coming to my 27th birthday dinner/bowling party last month. A couple of weeks ago, he and I got together for a drink date where things started off slowly as I tend to become very shy when in one-on-one situations with new people, esp. with men I'm attracted to, but after a bit we started to warm up and ended up having a really good time. Early on in the date, however, he asked me what type of person I'm looking to date..the question threw me off and to be quite honest I flaked a bit and didn't answer the question fully becuase it made me a bit nervous. A few nights after the drink date he, I and some mutual friends met up for drinks at a local bar and then went to a party that we had all been invited to afterwards. He and I sat together at the bar and chatted and flirted a bit, but nothing too over the top. Our behavior at this point was no different than it had ever been before our drink date. Once we got to the party, both of us went our seperate ways and did our own thing for a bit, though there was quite a bit of lingering eye contact and smiles across the room. Then as he continued to drink (yes there was a bit of alcohol involved in all of this) he became more openly flirtatious and affectionate towards me, wanting me to hang out with him, holding my hand, coercing me into slow dancing to fast songs with him, etc...even suggesting that I cancel my designated driver (a male friend that he seemed a bit jealous over) so that he could walk me home (I live really close to where the party was held, but not close enough to walk home alone after dark, hence the DD). His behavior that night was so suggestive that two of HIS female friends came over on two different occassions and asked me how long we had been dating and what was going on between us. Then they both preceeded to tell me that he tends to run when a girl shows too much interest in him (starts calling him all the time, etc.) and that I should let him come to me. This was a week and a half ago and I have not heard from him since. So much of his behavior has pointed to his being interested in me and I am confused as to why no contact has been made on his behalf. He is a 34 year old Pharmeceutical Sales Rep. and I know that he travels a lot and this may have something to do with it, but am still a bit unnerved and unsure. I'd like opinions on his behavior, that funny little question he asked me during our drink date and why he might have asked that and also what I should do at this point. I am pretty sure that he knows I'm interested or else he would not have behaved the way he has (alcohol or no alcohol) and would think that I should now leave the ball in his court. Esp. considering what his female friends have suggested (girls can be catty where men are concerned and I'm not sure how much to trust them, but I feel that what they have told me about him is not unusual behavior for a guy). I'm also afraid that he might simply be too shy to pick up the phone and if I don't take some initiative then things may never really get started between us, but I'm afraid of scaring him off.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2006): Its really difficult to say. I do wonder whether he was simply playing head games with you, but who knows?
You have nothing to lose by sending him an email to say hi, how are you, sort of thing, or by calling....though if you are hesitant, an email would be less intrusive.....either send it, or call.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2006): well it's really hard to say you know sometimes us girls have to go for what we want. if you don't try then you never know how it would have turn out. on the other hand we as woman always waiting on the man to make the move, so if he disappeared then just give it a couple of days then know call then you make your move so you want be later in life asking yourself what if or what it would have been like so i think if you don't want mix signals you need to communacate better
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