He seemed like a nice guy we met and he's acting strangely and I'm scared

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I met a guy online and we communicated for 6 months. I just got out of a relationship and the guy seemed perfect for me. We had all the same hobbies and interests and we started to really like each other. He's 29 and I'm 33. He was so kind and nice and sweet and I felt so safe with him. So a few weeks ago I came to his country in Europe from the UK. We were so excited to finally see each other on person. We used to talk all the time everyday and video chat together. So when we met everything was great. We had lots of nice long walks, hand in hand, talking about the future. That maybe I should move here. But then one day I saw a switch in his behaviour. Like mood swings. He needed a lot of reassurance that I wouldn't leave. Which I gave him but it seemed like it wasn't enough because he would ask multiple times a day. Then day by day more of his temper coming out. He'd talk about how he hates people or how he wants to kill himself sometimes. I would tell him not to talk like this. I said not everyone is bad and life will get better. That I wasn't going anywhere. Then last night I forgot to take my pill after coming in from having a cigarette I said I would take it after my dinner and he threw his food on the table, got up and turned off the TV, grabbed his phone and stormed into his room. I left him and eventually he came in saying I was ignoring him. I was scared. So I said that and said his mood swings scared me. So I spoke to him calmly and he seemed a bit more calm and then I sat in the living room to relax a bit more. He said he would fall asleep soon and when was I coming in and I said soon - I was trying to find out where to get the covid test to fly home - I fly home on the 13th. So when I went to bed he was laying in the dark in silence. I assumed he was sleeping and didn't want to disturb him so I lay next to him and went to sleep.i woke up this morning, got up before him and got ready - I sat on the couch and he walks in and says "you're ignoring me again?" I replied with "good morning" and he said "I will get you a ticket to the airport tomorrow pack your things" I stayed quiet. He went to the room and started throwing my things and case into the hall. I said stop throwing my things and he said why do you keep hurting me ? Stop hurting me" and then said I was the worst person ever to him. I said how can I be the worst person ever I haven't done anything to you. He then said don't talk to me or I'll hurt myself and began repeatedly punching himself in the head And face and crying. Honestly I'm really fucking scared of this guy and his reactions. I think there's something really wrong with him mentally. It also makes me question not only my judgement that I didn't see the warning signs but that I feel like I shouldn't be with anyone at all. Ever again. It took me a lot to trust again and he tried to convince me he was different. Now I'm stuck in Germany. I have no money because he told me he'd pay the train to the airport and the covid tests and give me extra since I paid the way there. I feel sick that he's going to do something to himself or be really angry at me. I'm so disappointed that things have turned out this way after I really thought my life was going in a happier direction. I also got told my landlord is selling so I have to move out the room I was renting in a few weeks. Nowhere to go. I feel scared.

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A female reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 June 2021):

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