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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I don't think he finds me hot or sexy enough. He got angry and upset because of my past (as always... sigh). Past = stuff that happened BEFORE I was with him! Ok, so I was a virgin when we started dating, right? But a couple of years before I'd given head to another guy that wasn't a boyfriend, more like a friend with benefits. So until he found out about this, everything was ok and then he became a jealous freak.Now, when we had been together for a month, we hung out and we were completely alone, we started fooling around and he asked me if I wanted to have sex. I was on my period so I said no and also told him I didn't feel ready (he wasn't a virgin by the way). A week later, I lost my virginity to him anyway.Now he's angry because he asked me whether it was true that back then I was on my period or if I'd only said that to not have sex with him. It was true, so I told him. And he asked me why on that time when we folled around, why didn't I give him oral? I told him because he didn't ask me to. He then asked me why I'd given the other guy oral, then? I said 'cause he'd asked me to, and he flipped, he said "Oh, so if any guy asks you to do something, you will?". Then he asked me why I didn't have sex with him that time? I said 'cause I didn't really feel ready. And he said "Oh, but you were ready with HIM, you gave him oral just like that!". I said it wasn't the same, and he only got angrier.I have a major complex with my small breasts. So he went on facebook and added as many chicks as he could find that were showing major cleavage. He doesn't know any of these girls personally, yet he added them. And he made a point of adding only the sluttiest looking ones, and only ones who had big breasts. I feel really bad, but if I say anything about it, he just tells me: "You have no right to complain. What you did in the past was much worse, plus it's only pictures, they're really hot, so what if I look?". But it hurts me and makes me feel unsexy and unattractive.What can I do with all this? I just can't get to dumping him. I love him and can't stand being without him.
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breasts, facebook, friend with benefits, jealous, lost my virginity, period Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): He's most of the problem here.
The only thing you did wrong here was omit the truth from him when he asked earlier. Either tell him the truth or say you're not telling anything, but don't lie. The trust issue there is HUGE.
Everything else you said makes it sound like he's being a total dick.
A
female
reader, be11is  +, writes (7 January 2010):
 First of all, don't feel unattractive just because your not flaunting your breasts like other girls, or because you think your chest size is too small. Girls like that are just sleezy, and thats the only way they can get a guy to hit on them.
I understand you want to make it work, that's defiantly reasonable seeing how you gave your virginity to him. You should try to explain to him that giving him that is way more of a big deal than going down on someone. I'm sure the only reason he keeps bringing it up is because hes insecure. Mention to him that he's the only one you really like and that he should leave the past in the past.
Hope this helped out!
xoxo
-B.
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