A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Would appreciate a bit of advice please.I was seeing a guy for a few weeks, it has all been very intense and fun. I struggle with insecurity, and it rose its head and he's run a mile.We have decided to stay friends, and when I hold back contact he appears, but when I contact his initiation stops and he just answers.He says we would be terrific together but our bad parts together would wreck it. Why still contact then I wonder? Why say he misses me and says when he doesn't hear from me that he wonders what I'm doing an how I am?I would like to try with this guy and I have let him know this. Should I continue to respond or contact? Or is this hopeless?Thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 November 2016):
 I would hate to see you getting hurt here. Maybe you should take some time out and try and deal with your insecurities? There is something that is holding you back from trusting guys so maybe you should work on yourself for a while and build up your confidence.
It seems this guy only shows his face when he sees you are not contacting him. This to me shows that he is wanting you to keep interest in him. He is to selfish to let you go. Maybe he wants a bit of fun and nothing serious am not sure but I honestly don't think he wants anything serious with you and is playing mind games.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 November 2016):
 Sounds like you are the backup girl for when he doesn't have anyone else. He keeps reaching out when you back away because he WANTS you to pay attention to him, to stroke his ego.
You already know and HE already knows that you aren't compatible as a serious couple, so what you are doing is going around in circles for no other reason than neither of you seem to want to have to move on.
I think he is a waste of your time, and I'd cut him off or just mentally downgrade him to an acquaintance and treat him as that.
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