A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, Ive been with my bf for 9mths now, and we are experiencing some difficulties. We got into an argument last week which made me upset, so Ive been trying to communicate all week with him about sorting out the arguement. He says he is busy due to school and work, yet in the past, Ive been busier than him and still found time to meet with him(i pointed that out to him). He's been different for some time, a bit distant. During the relationship he has not opened up to me about his feelings and i think cause he was burnt by his past. Ive asked him openly about if there is someone else involved in the picture and thats why he is busy in wanting to see me. He says there is, and then when I take this seriously and let him know, he says how it is justified how i believed him while he lied about it. I dont find such a thing funny and now im hurt. I need a reality check by having your inputs here to this: what do you think? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 October 2009):
Well first of all, you've found the difference between how men and women handle arguments, so I'll explain it (This is a good thing, by the way). When men argue, we have to go away and think without beng hassled or questioned. When women argue, they have to talk things through. Undertand that and you'll understand why he didn't want to talk or open up and why you did. However, that dooesn't mean he can say what he did. He may have done it to annoy you, which worked. So you need to sit him down and explain to him that it hurt, and ask him why he lied. Then you need to gently explain that the argument also hurt, and you would like to talk about it. Men don't respond to direct questions, so you have to work around the issue, not dive in as it were. Hope that helps a bit.
A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (2 October 2009):
 seriously I am afraid that this guy is playing head games with you.
He is neither worthy of your affection or your time. Anyone that plays games like that this early into a relationship is just giving you a snapshot of a boatload of future drama coming to the theater that will become your life if you stay with this dolt.
He is doing you a favor by showing what a moron he is. RUN!
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