A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My name is Sam and me and my boyfriend had one of the best relationships ever and then I had to move to another country and we continued it through long distance. Then because of my work schedule I stopped remembering things I was supposed to at times and this irritated my boyfriend. The last time we spoke was when I called him in the middle of his night and he was ill, he was furious that I had woken him up at the odd hour when I knew he was ill.. I just want us to be happy. He has a horrible temper and is overly possessive and protective. I stopped going out, speaking to all other guys because he dosen't like it and I just take all of it. Right now he says the relationship is one sided and I need to prove it to him that I love him and he needs time to think about us. Please tell me what to do. I am madly in love with him.
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male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (23 December 2008):
 Send me a private message... let's deal with this offline...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionpeter, i can't belive this but he actually broke up with me..and dat too on facebook..i was shocked to see his status changed and called him..he said he smsmed me the same before..i was in tears that a relationship of 1 year ended like this..i am heart broken..he actaully said that i do not know what it is to care for people and i never loved him enough, he said i had become a liabilty in his life,i am in shock after hearing all this..after all that i have done i get this..i am compltely heart broken
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (17 December 2008):
Sam can you see that he's putting you through Hell needlessly? He seems only concerned with his needs and what will satisfy them ...over and above the pain you're feeling. Again, if you are feeling stifled in telling him how you truly feel, that should be the strongest indication that he's just not right for you... or he's so deeply involved in his own issues that he couldn't possibly be considerate of your needs.
I don't what else I can offer you other than what I've already said... I'm sorry...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe wrote me a mail in which he says that hes feeling since the past few days that i love him only beacuse he loves me and not for what he is.which is jsut not true.He reminded me of the time i fell asleep when he was in pain and wanted to speak,about how i forget to ask about his activities and again about the call..he says i do not put in a ny effort..all i can say is i stopoed goin out,speaking to guys,taking every bit of his temper and loving him with all my heart and now it is killing me that we are in this situation..pls tell me what to do
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (16 December 2008):
I have to share with you my first thoughts reading this... my first impression was "get another boyfriend". One of the key elements in any intimate relationship is trust. To me, it sounds like your current boyfriend has very little (if any at all) for you and being away from his immediate control. Granted, getting a call in the middle of the night from another country might be -- at first -- upsetting, but then once realizing that it was somebody calling because that cared, my attitude would immediately change! So, to me, it seems like you're the one trying very hard and he's the one not trying at all... Are you really cutting off contact with other men because he wants it? Please tell me that's an exaggeration!
So, again I would recommend that you find a guy that's understanding of your commitment to make calls (long distance and overseas) to express your affection. Don't let somebody with a horrible temper and a controlling nature control your life and be the one that controls your personal happiness -- nobody should be allowed to do that!
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