A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey!Well i was just wondering if anyone could give me some much needed help. About two years ago, i went out with a guy for a few months, but it didn't really work out, but we stayed good friends and two years later he's now my best friend. The problem is that since we broke up, we've still been sort of going out with each other. We do everything together and i love being with him. However if someone were to ask me if i had a boyfriend, i'd say no, we always just regard each other as friends. I think that it's sort of an open relationship, but i just don't know, he says that relationships are bad and that they never work out and that he doesn't want us to break up again if we were to go out. If anyone shows any interest in me, he'll come across as sort of jealous and poke fun at it, but then he says that i should go for it, but i just can't, it would feel like cheating on him. He hasn't been with anyone else either. I just don't have a clue anymore, it's just so hard trying to have friendship boundaries whilst being with him at the same time. Am i just wasting my time with him or should i move on?Thank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008): This is a complicated thing....it is really hard sometimes to know if you are in a relationship or not these days, what with how people like to label things, f buddy, friends with benefits, girlfriend, lover, friend....it is confusing to say the least.
It seems to me that being best friends is a very strong foundstion for a romantic relationship, and there are obvious romantic feelings between you as well as friendship or the jealousy, possesiveness would not be there....it may be that your friend is just not in a place in his life where he feels that he can really be serious with a girl or offer her a future with him, and he feels guilty for keeping you from that, when he doesn't think he is ready.
Are you wasting your time? Possibly. It depends on what you want, if you want a big romance, then go out and look elsewhere as what you have here is a slow burning fire...
all relationships are not meant to last a lifetime, but I think people come into our life for a reason, you two are young and will probably have more romanctic relationships in your life, so keep your heart open.
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