A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:should I be concerned if my boyfriend of 12 years will not let me see his emails? I just recently found out he was telephoning and emailing a female coworker and as he admitted became "too close to her". He insist nothing is going on, but when I ask him to log onto his email acct. and let me see for myself he has not received or sent any emails to her, he refused.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): Sounds like he has something to hide. After 12 years of committment, then all of a sudden he won't let you see his emails, he is doing something he shouldn't. Don't give him another chance. Out with the old and in with the new. He is a loser in everyway imaginable. Get the last laugh and dump his sorry behind. He might wish later he had opted to reconsider the request and put your mind to ease. His loss.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2010): The proof is in the answer to one question- would he usually let you go through his things or no?
If he did and now doesn't, there is a problem. He is hiding something.
If he never did, maybe not. Private people just hate the thought of people snooping through their things. I am one of those people. My fiance is not allowed to mess with my phone, camera, emails, online accounts, etc. My mom used to snoop through my things when I was little kid and "find" something to be mad about and would make me miserable over them (I came from an abusive home.) She would see words she "didn't like" or beat me over silly sex spam that was so popular back then and call me all kinds of names. I even lost my computer for a year because of a naughty pop-up when my mom was snooping through my history. So sub-consciously, I am always afraid of someone finding something that makes them mad at me. I have panic attacks when anyone goes through my stuff. And I know a lot of people like me, although their reasons are usually different. But yeah, I have nothing to hide but hide it anyways. Usually he gets it from me, checks it out, and asks me why I made such a big deal about it. It's because I just HATE it.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (5 June 2010):
 You should be concerned because something is happening right under your eyes.
If he won't allow you to see his mails, there must be some incriminating evidence which he does not want you to see.
He is guilty unless he will let you see his emails.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2010): Sounds fishy to me......I wouldn't be suprise if you discover he has cheated on you or is cheating on your or had some type of emotional affair with this woman or any other woman. He may well have something to hide.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (5 June 2010):
 I agree, it does sound suspicious. It doesn't necessarily mean something is going though, he could just be a very private person. Has he ever let you read his emails or look through his private life before? If yes, then there's something going on. If no, then there might not be. Also, is he very protective of his phone and computer? Like take secret calls, prevent you from so much as holding his phone? New passwords on the computer? If those things then there's probably something going on. Though I agree, most people who are wrongly accused of cheating would let their girlfriend read through emails to put their mind at ease. Some detective work on your part may be necessary since if something is going on, he's not just going to tell you if you confront him.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (5 June 2010):
 He's cheating on you. There's a reason why he's not committing to you after 12 years, and you just uncovered it. You don't need to see proof. You have the proof in his refusal.
Go kick Mister Double Life to the curb. There are plenty of guys who don't have anything to hide.
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