A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 months and its getting really serious now. We are booking up to go away for a wee holiday and he's always talking about when we get married and have kids and stuff like that but he was in my house last night as he stays every saturday night and he was telling me that he thinks am too clingy. I dont understand how i am, i think it maybe because i always kiss him all the time and say i love you like every 15minz or sumthin .. am just scared incase he leaves me :( and i love him so much and i want him to be the one i spend my life with because i have never met anyone like him beforee !! i am only 16 and he is 20 . i just sumitimes need to be reasured all the time if he still loves me and stuff and when he says he does i dont believe him some times and i dont no why !! its getting me really down at the moment . please helpx
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female
reader, natasia +, writes (30 March 2008):
 ps
and I also understand the insecurity thing - needing constant reassurance. It is so hard, but you have to just let go a bit, and cruise. One way is whenever you feel like you need reassurance, instead of demanding it from him, remember some of the nice things he's said to you, or look at some of the texts etc. he's sent you. Try and get your reassurance from there 95% of the time, and only a little bit, if at all, from him. Otherwise you'll swamp him, and eventually he'll have had enough. Go on. You can do it, I'm sure!
A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (30 March 2008):
You need to be VERY firm with yourself. Telling him you love him every 15 mins is over the top. Stop yourself. Beileve him when he says he loves you. He does, at the moment, but you'll drive him away if you keep on being so demonstrative, I think. If you give someone too much of anything, they stop valuing it as much. You need to tone it down, and just keep it in your head when you want to say you love him. Limit it to no more than once a day! Really, do this, now.
I know how you feel because I've done the same thing, and had to stop myself, too. I know how you want to just tell him and show him how he makes you feel, and how much you cherish him, but honestly, I do think reining yourself in is absolutely the best thing to do. He'll like you even more for it, I'm sure. : )
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (30 March 2008):
 If he's telling you he wants to get married etc, then telling you that you are too clingy, he is obviously giving you the wrong signals! If he wants you to tone it down, he needs to tone it down too.
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