A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been friends for 13 years and started dating 6 months ago. It was the first relationship I've ever had that felt right. He's separated and when his estranged wife found out how serious we were she decided she wanted him back. He's confused because he says I'm the love of his life, but he feels he needs to give it one more chance to put his family back together. His children hate him which is part of why they separated in the first place. I love him and want to be with him, but also just don't want to see him hurt anymore. I'm confused about how to protect me from more hurt and help him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): Hi. You don't say how long he and his wife have been separated or why his children hate him. But he and the wife obviously parted sometime ago and should have started moving on by now. If you really were the love of his life, he wouldn't be going back to her just because she's decided that's what's going to happen.It wont work if he does go back, just cause more pain. And when it fails and he comes back to you (who he's kept simmering on a back burner) what will you do ,if in time she wants him back yet again and he feels he should make another effort to fix the family. Trust me. If he can call you the love of his life, be with you for 6 months and then WANT to go back to his ex, then his idea of love isn't good. Walk away while you can and don't worry about helping him through his hurt. If he really cared about you he wouldn't be doing it. Wise up and leave them to get on with it. She obviously dumped him and you were the rebound relationship. He gets a chance to go home and he's out the door! Think about it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): friend for 13 years and lovers for ONLY 6. have you considered that for 13 years you have interfered in his marriage and that perhaps you were instrumental in his marriage going sounth. friends do not help themselves to their so called friends. you are the other woman, no matter what moral support the other female anon writer gave you, you are the unwanted factor in his life and you sshould butt out. he has made his choice and as the other woman you should leave well alone. you are lucky that his wife has been "kind" to you thus far. stop interfering in this marriage and leave this married man alone. the mistress loves to keep her clutches onto the married man and doesn't want to accept that IT IS OVER. he is married for goodness sake and he chose, accept that it is not you and move on. or face the consequences that comes with your betrayal.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): My married boyfriend of 4 months and were forcible seperated by his wife yesterday. Up until a week ago she live 7 hours away and was unconcerned with his life, feelings, or him in general. Then she shows up and finds out about me and now both our lives are torn apart and in the gutter. He's not allowed to call or see me and visa versa. I have no idea if he's okay, if he misses me, if he'll ever call... It's a horrible torturous feeling. I wish i was dead. He IS my other half. His reasoning for not just being with me were because he didn't want to fail again... Failure in his marriage would have been to hard of a burden to handle. So because I loved him I was willing to let him go and try to save his broken home. All the while he was asuring me that it wasn't going to work. Their marriage was long gone. Then she got tired of me. And now there is no more us. I don't know what to tell you. I told him I would wait for him forever. That there is no one else for me. He's my oher half. So here I wait... who knows how long... but I'm waiting. It doesn't matter that other people think you're worng for being with a married man and really doesn't even matter that he's not divorcing her... because you need him to feel alive and whole. No one has ever made you feel the way he makes you feel. Some people get lucky and they find their soul mates single and waiting, others like us... we have a harder path to walk.
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